Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Further to my post from last month, and apologies for going on about it but I'm still finding life extremely hard following the decision by my partner to leave and go off with someone else.
My over-active mind goes into overdrive every single day and I just can't stop thinking about the two of them together. Especially in the evenings and at night. I end up taking sleeping tablets to escape the world but it's still all there when I wake up in the morning.
I really feel like I want to sit down and talk to someone about it but I have no friends or family that will listen except my dad who always says the wrong things. I'm literally screaming on the inside and cannot continue like this.
I'm really interested to hear from others who have had a similar experience and what their coping methods were.
I know the best thing for me right now is distraction of some sort. I read a lot and try to keep as active as possible but the thoughts are always there and just will not go away.
I also have a feeling the person she's seeing is someone that I work with but I'm too scared to find out as it'll finish me off if I'm correct.
Thank you for reading.
My over-active mind goes into overdrive every single day and I just can't stop thinking about the two of them together. Especially in the evenings and at night. I end up taking sleeping tablets to escape the world but it's still all there when I wake up in the morning.
I really feel like I want to sit down and talk to someone about it but I have no friends or family that will listen except my dad who always says the wrong things. I'm literally screaming on the inside and cannot continue like this.
I'm really interested to hear from others who have had a similar experience and what their coping methods were.
I know the best thing for me right now is distraction of some sort. I read a lot and try to keep as active as possible but the thoughts are always there and just will not go away.
I also have a feeling the person she's seeing is someone that I work with but I'm too scared to find out as it'll finish me off if I'm correct.
Thank you for reading.
Sounds like you are in the very early stages
I connected with friends through work and very old friends and family
Long distance phone calls every day
I did sleep only with lorazepam
and did go on antidepressants for a year
psycho therapy and a breakups and divorce course
to be honest with you...I did start dating soon after, but know this is not approved of
1) Seeing the positive - I would rather the person I care about show their true colors and leave than allow me to continue to invest time, energy, love, support etc.. only for them to do the same thing later on down the road anyway
2) Focussing on my own personal goals - sometimes we lose sight of designing our own life when in a relationship. I'm appreciative that I continued with grad school and travel plans while with my ex and am continuing to invest in myself and do things that make me energized and stronger
3) I don't regret all that I gave of myself in the relationship but am forcing myself to move on and realize that this opens other possibilities in my life. Isn't it better to be open to find someone that will value and love you as intensely as you deserve?
4) cancel all thoughts of your ex with someone else. It's pointless, hurtful and sets back your recovery. I didn't want to know if there was another person involved with his decision. The glaring thing was that he was choosing not to be with me. I have forced myself to think that perhaps whatever it is that he needs to learn in this life, or that he needs to be fulfilled, needs to come from someone else.
5) Re-focus all your thoughts on how "you" feel about things. Not how they "think or feel".
6) Embrace the things that energize you. For me it is pilates, yoga and meaningful connections with my platonic friends and family.
I'm soo sorry this is truly haunting your day to day existence. It seems critical that you find what works. Accupunture is something I have used to help with clarity and focus for school. I discovered that it improved my health in countless other ways I wasn't even thinking needed improvement and I'm sure it can help with separation anxiety and depression.
Hang in there!
some things and blessings that have been helping me.
-i've been talking with my mom, friends, communicating with members here on the group.
i've also been focusing on my health. i put my ex first, for over 5 years. i was always use too being her #1, helping her, and never gave my own health enough time. i've been trying to eat better, exercise more, i've gotten into more nature walks, and gardening.
-i've also done some studying online, about the mental health issues my ex has, and getting a better understanding, of what she experiences, and how other people have experienced the same type of abandonment without explanation, from their ex's, and it's helped to give me a good insight, and a better understand, and also helps me feel like i'm not alone.
-movies, are helping me too
-writing.
there's always hope, for more good times, and better healthy days ahead. we must put ourselves 1st, when we experience a breakup. we have to focus and maintain our good health, so that we can have healthy, and happy futures. we're all on this healing journey together. all my best wishes.
Exercise. Even if just going for a walk, sometimes using the treadmill, anything to get moving.
I took a "gratitude challenge," I wrote down 3 things I was thankful for, every day, for one month. Sometimes it was repeats, that doesnt matter. Just any 3 things in that day that I could be grateful for. Sometimes as basic as "clean water to drink, a roof over my head" etc.
Coming on DS. either to post, read others posts, or to write in my journal here. the journal is great, b/c you can make each entry either private or public.
Getting back into hobbies I used to like, and/or trying hobbies i've always wanted to.
I haven't personally tried any, but many people have had success with Meetup.com, it's not a dating site, it's a site to find events to do with people in your area with common interests.
I also plan to take a Divorce Care class soon.
I've found a few simple meditation videos on YouTube that are very relaxing and uplifting as well.
Hope some of these help.
(((HUGS)))