I hate to say it but staying for the kids can actually hurt the kids. They are smart and can feel the problems and tensions in the family. I tried the only staying for the kids path, and they grew and got older and suffered.

That would do it for me!

Lynne

My ex told our son that she only had him because if she did not have a baby, she was afraid that the marriage would not last . . . She asked to have a baby one month after we got married and two weeks after her first of dozens of requests for a divorce. Now, get this. We went out of town for Thanksgiving and she was not feeling well. We though that, maybe, she was pregnant. We bought a kit. I was up most of the night (as I usually do when excited or upset about something) and fell asleep around 5 am. At 9 am she came to me and said I have a bun in the oven! Sadly, she left me out of the test process and, I was not too keen on this at all, leaving me out of a very important event in our life. Well, it turned out that she did this throughout most of our 22 year marriage!

So, now our son is really screwed up because of this . . . NEVER tell the children that you had them to keep a marriage, ever!

The ex was working overseas and trying to get another job here at home. I found an email to the Houston office. It read: As always I prefer never to work in the states. I want to stay overseas.

That started the divorce process for me. But there was other things that finished off our marriage.

There were other behaviors and statements as well. Over the course of several months, he gave me a laundry list of reasons why he didn't like doing various activities with me. At one point, I realized that he'd pretty much covered everything we do together.

When I asked him why he is even staying married if things are so terrible. His response was that we aren't done raising the kids. A few days later, I told him that I didn't believe in staying married just for the kids. At that point, he decided that he loved me. Oh brother.

I've made a few feable attempts to save the marriage, but my heart isn't in it.

My ex told me he only kept me around because he "didnt have to do anything" He had my paycheck, I took care of our beautiful home and child, and he could just show up for work and come home to play his video game. Yes, he flat out said he used me.

Oddly enough, he is now living with some dude who just got of prison, has ruined his military career and has absolutely nothing.

sad...very sad.