Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Has been more than 5 years trying to make this happen but seems like is not gonna work. She can’t forgive she says. We gonna get divorce when she feel like. I am living 5 years now with the fear of being alone at any moment. I am trying to do everything can be done to make her happy but she doesn’t care. I don’t understand she doesn’t want to be with me but she doesn’t divorce me. She likes me like the father of our kids but not as a lover. Seems like every day she is looking to find a mistake to me in order to make me feel garbage. Everything I say is wrong or stupid or hilarious even if I sit in a chair. All her life is with a code . Not access in her phone or social media. She likes to do everything she wants talking with strangers flirting with strangers or old friends. She is doing everything possible to make me hurt or at least seems like. I don’t know.
But my question is why I am staying in this marriage still?
Why can’t I move forward?
Why am I afraid of losing her when I know that I already have lost her?
Why I feel ugly and scared to go out there and try to find someone else?
why is hurting me the idea that if I give up is like I abandon her and my kids?
Why I still love her so much?
why am living in such a pain and daily headache?
I feel that i am loosing my self for real. I don’t remember when I laugh the last time.
I asked her yesterday how many positive things she can find on me after 25 years and she couldn’t find none except that I am a hard worker good father. She doesn’t appreciate anything on me.
Why am I appreciate everything on her?
Why am I looking at her like she is my God?
She has made me to believe that is no future between us . Why I want to believe that might be?
Am i fucking stupid?
Am I mentally sick?
Am I a guy without self esteem?
What the heck is going on with me?
Why am I so much depend on her? I don’t need her for anything. Either way I am doing literally everything by myself.
Every day seems like the gap between us becomes bigger and bigger. Sometimes I feel I want to disappear from this life.
I feel so tired and lonely. Being in a foreign country and in this conditions is like hell .
When we want, or think we want something, we try to latch on tighter. It makes us scared of losing what we have. Even though what you have isn't right, the unknown can be scary. Everything I've read said that it's not really the person we will miss but the energy, hopes, and certain things we did in the relationship.
You aren't abandoning - it is her chose. I felt the same way in the beginning but it was her choosing.
My advice is that you need a break from her. Right now, you are constantly tearing open the wound. It will never heal and you won't get stronger. The first few days away will be tough, but than it will get better. Hope, self esteem, everything will come.
Foreign country can be tough but it can also be free. You can meet new people. You can be you and see what is out there. Remember, you found a person once, you'll find someone again if you let yourself.
Focus on you. Find your happiness without her!
Is just that I am with my wife since I was 15 y/o and is a kind of scary to go out there by myself.
Nevertheless I appreciate and evaluate each single word you said. Thank you.
About 6-7 months ago, even after it had been a year of my husband no longer listening, no longer communicating, failing at being a husband and man of the house (as per words of his former command, and those who know use well), god not being in his life or the marriage, yet in my life, his immaturity kept growing, he weasels out of responsibility, that's just the beginning.
Sometimes, it takes courage and belief in yourself to realize and then let go of the marriage, to let go of what you once had with her, to realize that letting go is okay, that it is what's best for you. As the kind words have been given to me here, take time to focus on yourself, do things for yourself and your kids, love yourself, see that you are very much worthy of love and a healthy relationship. Have hope that one day you'll find one.
I tried for over a year to get my husband into counseling, to have patience for him to change, and between his behavior, his tone of voice, his words, his actions, he isn't changing, in fact he's getting worse. I'm now isolated, lonely, and have no friends, his unit turned on me for wanting the separation. Sometimes, when you realize things cannot be fixed, one day you have to let go, and my "let go" moment was 6 months ago, I started running, started searching for myself to come back, searching for what I wanted out of life, what my dogs need in life as they are my kids, when that happened, God helped me start believing in myself, start to love myself, and appreciate my life experiences. It's hard.. but hang in there, you will get through this, your kids will get through this.
I also watched my parents divorce when I was really young, so I know what that is like.
If you need a friend or a place to vent, feel free to add me as a friend and message me on here! :)
-Traci