So I dont even know where to start. I have other posts that I have explained in pretty great detail how my marriage has been. Rocky is probably an understatement. I left him last summer and then stupidly took him back. I was trying to raise our 3 kids literally on my income and nothing more which I was doing successfully. However, I did not have support here at all that could take my kids to their sports or school if I was working and no one to stay with them overnight and get them to school if I had to work an overnight shift so I broke down and let him come back. I of course got the promise that he changed and was a better person and would never treat me wrong again and blah blah blah. I however had not changed and had told him as much. I still had no emotional connection, I thought of him as a friend. Yes I loved him but only in the sense that I wanted to know he was ok, after all at that point we had been together 13 years. I needed actual space and time from him without contact unless it was pertaining to our kids and I was never afforded that opportunity for more than about 48 hours, once it was 72. If I didnt talk to him or didnt want to he would call our middle child and tell her it was really important so of course she would give me the phone. I still could not have a conversation with him without going off the deep end and then it would turn in to an all out screaming match. When we talk, if it is not somethin he agrees with or something that he thinks should happen he will belittle me or demand an answer to something or talk down to me. I ask him not to do this and thats where the anger comes in because I get told immediately that he isnt doing those things. I realize that I need to better control my anger but truth be told he is the only person that I get like this with, not an excuse for my behavior but an acknowledgement. So since then he has not worked at all until today. Along with the issues I spoke about here there is also the fact of the house cleaning and running around etc. I work anywhere from 36-62 hours a week depending on how many calls I receive for my casual job. So since he has come back and was not working I didnt feel that it was too much to ask for him to be the one cleaning the house, doing the laundry, making supper and the daily running around for the house. I do more than my share of all of these things on my days off. We discussed this several times prior to him coming back because I managed to take care of our 3 kids, work 8-12 hours a day 5-6 days a week and spend my day off with our kids AND keep my house clean when he was not here. Of course it was going to be better cause he changed. I still spend my days off cleaning because "the kids just wont listen and clean up" or "i just didnt have the energy but i promise ill do it tomorrow" or "your standards are ridiculous how are we supposed to keep it clean to your standards" or "i had it clean before they come home but they are savages". We have seen a marriage counselor who seemed more interested in beating me up over my affair just about 2 years ago(which i had attempted to leave prior to even having contact with the guy) and defending my husbands issues due to this despite the fact that my husband made it clear that we had worked through that and he had forgiven me. I dont think he has forgiven me. Theres issues in the bedroom as well because he feels like i should let others in our bedroom to satisfy his fantasies because hed do it for me if i wanted it. He also lacks any ambition to do anything it seems, I leave for work and hes watching tv, i come home and hes doing basically the same thing. He is diabetic and has probably gained 10-20lbs again since he come back and he was already overweight before.(doc figued he should be around 230-240 at absolute most and he was just over 300)

So I guess I am asking what does a normal relationship look like? Most of what I have mentioned are all the main reasons I dont feel we can stay in this marriage. But that being said, when we do have one good day I start to question if i am just being too hard on him and then i also worry how hell do if i leave again. Ideas??