Do you have any old friends you can reconnect with? Is there a divorce/separation support group near by? You really need to talk to someone who's been in your situation for them to truly know what you're going through. I'd tell you to look for a group of people you have similar interests with but finding a friend quickly will be difficult. You can also mention what you're going through during the introductions. I would also look for a good counselor. Good luck.

I just read your previous thread and I would suggest contacting a therapist who specializes in grief recovery, especially from divorce &/or breakups.

Don't know where you are, but if you're in the US, and don't have insurance coverage for mental health, you can contact your county mental health agency for referrals. You can also call the therapists directly and ask what they specialize in and ask if they charge on a sliding scale basis.

I personally wouldn't suggest going to a religious pastor/minister because the majority of them are not adequately trained, degreed or certified in counseling (other than religious counseling which isn't the same).

There is a great national divorce recovery program called Rebuilding. Its very inexpensive and it's very helpful. Check www.rebuilding.org to see if there's one near you.

My stbxw has a HUGE extended family, and I am stuck in a town where I do not have ANY friends or family that I am not related to by marriage. Now, to their credit, they are all loving and accepting of me, but... Blood is thicker than water, and nobody can be expected to side with me over her.

In any case, I personally am not a fan of confiding in close friends or family members, anyway. Do you really need your friends and family to be all up in your business, knowing that your ex is a tramp, knowing how you drink too much and cry yourself to sleep? (And so on. You get the idea). Don't mistake your friends or family for therapists. Get yourself a real, honest to goodness therapist.

Thanks. I'm in the UK. I've enquired about counselling but there's a 3 month waiting list and unfortunately I cannot afford 40-a-go private treatment. I'm really stuck and cannot believe anything could be this hard.

I hear ya. It really is hard. Here's a link to the rebuilding.org site I mentioned. They have locations listed for the UK.

http://www.rebuilding.org/unitedkingdom.php?SessionID=24176011555a270d4d48b

Even if there's not one near you, call a few, as not all of them are always listed on the website.

When I went, it was $35USD for 12 weeks (not $35 per week) and they offered scholarships for those who couldn't afford it. It's a good program. And it gives you a chance to interact w/others going thru the same thing.

Also, here is another link that might be of help, even tho it offers a US phone number. There appears to be links to other resources. http://afterdivorcesupport.com/bruce-fisher-rebuilding/

You might want to get Dr. Fisher's book, Rebuilding. The recovery workshops are based on it. So it might help to read the book. (Check your local library. I think I got mine on ebay for way less than list price.)

It has some good suggestions as to how to process the grief and make the transition.