Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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nix192 10/13/2009

i havent been on for a few days because last monday my stbx phoned and we had a chat,he told me that he wasnt getting on with ow and he missed the kids so he was coming back home.like a fool i said if he had no were to go he could stay here.so he came home monday night.
we had long talks and i asked what he wanted and he said he wanted to give us another go etc.then we sat the kids down and explained to them that we was going to give things a try,it was great for a week then this morning i knew things wernt right so i asked him whats up.he said things are too differant and he thinks he made a mistake in coming home.

im so angry at myself for letting this happen again but like my friend said i cant help acting on my feelings,yes i still love him even though he moved on with someone after only a few months,i cant help feeling the way i do.
hes now told me that the feelings he has for me are not the same as i feel for him.after 21 years thats how little i mean to him.i feel so sorry for our kids as they were so happy he was home and i feel like ive let them down again.how am i going to cope now?

deleted_user 10/13/2009

Oh honey I am so sorry. What a creep! You did not let down your kids he did. I understand that you are angry with yourself. It is so hard when you love someone and they take advantage of that. Don't blame yourself. You did what you thought would be best for your children. If you didn't allow him to come back you would have always wondered. Now you know without a doubt that he is a selfish jackass.

(((((((hugs))))))

deleted_user 10/13/2009

Please don't feel bad. He should be ashamed of himself. He needs help! (((((((hugs))))))))

deleted_user 10/13/2009

You didn't let the kids down, he did. Now that you know he is like this, don't let him do it to you and the kids again. Get some counseling if you can. Or at least some for the kids thsi roller coaster ride is bad for them. I hope you will be ok!! *hugs*

deleted_user 10/13/2009

Bah.

He did no work and you gave him a free pass.

You'll know better next time, cuz there will not be one. :o)

deleted_user 10/13/2009

how did you let the kids down? i'm sorry, he only used you for a place to go. he gave it a week. 7 days. he's once again choosing not to be responsible. let him go. and don't beat yourself up for trying to make things work. now you know. xoxoxoxoxoxox

patti22 10/13/2009

Hugs. I probably would have done the same thing. In fact, I'm almost sure of it.

deleted_user 10/13/2009

Allot of us have done the same thing, some of us too many times... I will say it again, just in case you didn't hear the others that responded... you did not let the kids down, he did!

Hugs, I know this hurts!

deleted_user 10/13/2009

What a foolish jerk he is. You haven't let anyone down. You've tried and you've given it your all. What more can you do? Let the loser go!!

nix192 10/13/2009

thankyou so much for all of your replies,today has been so hard.hes still here waiting for our son to finish work so we can tell him that hes going again and that its both our fault(this is how hes making himself feel better and im too tired to argue).

deleted_user 10/13/2009

Tell your children the truth. You want to make the marriage and family work. I wouldn't take half the blame on this one. I'm really sorry.

deleted_user 10/14/2009

I am sorry for what happened. But you did not let the kids down, he did. Its so insensitive of him to do that to you and the kids.
At times, we let our emotion rule over our mind and that's what happened when you took him back. But its alright, we learned something from it, right?
Hope you feel better.
HUGS for you.

deleted_user 10/14/2009

Big (((HUGS)))! I have been there and done that as well. Everyone's right here, he let them down, not you. Now you can move on in this process, do your grieving for what you thought you had and move on. Take care, Beth

deleted_user 10/14/2009

Just so sorry this happened! :(

deleted_user 10/14/2009

You had hope. That is totally human and totally normal. Please don't beat yourself up over it. I'm so sorry for what he's done. And like everyone else is saying, you didn't let the kids down, he did.

nix192 10/14/2009

its over,hes gone now.im so mixed up i dont know what to do.i thought id been at the darkest place in my life but im there now.i know he wont stay on his own he will go back to the ow even though the reason he came back here was because he said she was a pysco and he couldnt deal with her arguing all the time.a little bit of me does feel releaf as now even though it hurts i have to move on.

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