Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

13,010 Members

100,360 Posts

0 Online

Staystrong207 12/08/2016

What does it mean when your spouse says "I need you". Should I be insulted that he needs me, and doesn't say that he wants me? Maybe he doesn't say want because a want is something that you want and don't have. He already has me. I have mixed feelings about this. He still loves me, doesn't want a divorce, and wants to work things out. I have to admit that I still love him as well. Can't say that I want a divorce, at least not now. I'm focusing on myself right now. I figured I would focus on myself, our son, and get back happy and strong for myself before I make any final decisions.

What a test this is. "Through thick and thin". I think most marriages get tested at some point in time. I constantly ask myself how could I still love and care about someone who hurt me so badly? Maybe it will just take time. I need to figure out what will be best for ME!!

My feelings and emotions are just all over the place. At least I'm not crying. I'm tired of crying. I wanted to cry yesterday and nothing would come out.

I will make sure I stay positive and think happy thoughts everyday. When you think you got it bad someone always has it worse.

I love all of you for your support.

samantha717 12/08/2016

My experience has told me that you can't listen to people's words. When you really want to know what someone means, look at their actions.

Staystrong207 12/08/2016

Yes, you are right. I think a lot of us tend to forget that actions speak louder than words.

kas2378 12/08/2016

I agree with looking at actions and not the words. I always said to my husband i want you to want to be with me, not need to be with me. I don't want anyone to stay with me out of necessity I want them to be with me because they love me and want to be there. Although sometimes the wording does get confusing. I have told him especially when this first all happened that I love him and i need him. I can do this on my own so i don't "need" him to support me. But emotionally I need and want him. So be careful when you are reading into what he says. It's very easy to hear things the way you want to hear them and read into something not there. Definitely look at the actions and if that is backing up what he is saying. And always trust your gut.

levoo 12/08/2016

er, eh hem...it's a guy thing. Our mistake is thinking you gals need what we want. And that works the other way also and absolutely. So we both expect each other to think like the other. For a man to be "wanted" is purely a ego issue for him. Men "think" being "necessary" or "needed" transcends ego. He will give everything because he is needed. "Wanted" seems optional to a man. Nice, but optional. In our finite male brains therefore, we think we are being vulnerable and very intimate to a women when we admit we need them. Trust me, it's a compliment of the highest order (in our minds). So maybe knowing the motive and difference to a man, you can appreciate it for what it really is and then explain to us why being "wanted" is more important to a woman, than being needed. Just my 2 cents and filled with generalities that wont apply to everybody. Peace.

levoo 12/08/2016

PS. I could fill this page with disclaimers, and of course we all want to be both wanted and needed. Men tend to prioritize when the pressure is on, often resulting in one narrow solution while leaving other important things out. I freakin panic when I see tears...all I think about is the most comforting thing to say. Quickly. It often doesnt cover the relational depths a woman experiences.

Join the Conversation