I stayed in and fought the good fight because being married meant more to me than the wedding day. It meant taking the bad, with the good...the ups with the downs.

When you fight for it alone, it's a whole other story.

My reason was that I had the whole fantasy of having the family unit for life....that we would grow old together and enjoy our grandkids together and be able to sit and on our front porch and talk about our life span together from when we met in high school until we were old......maybe its movies that do that to us? I liked to think that my life was like the Notebook, that we would be together forever just like that and then die together too.

Having kids was also a reason to stay.....and with him, because when he wasn't drinking or causing chaos, it was good, and I wanted to hold onto those good times and believe that he could always be that person and that one day he would grow out of the lying, cheating, binge drinking person he was!

I thought that counseling would break through his anger and his violence. It did not.

I loved him. I still love him. Expect I always will.

Trust, it seemed I could trust her through all of the ups and downs, for better and for worse that life could throw our, hers, and my way

I felt we both were good at not trying to change each other. I thought we accepted each other unconditionally, warts and all.
My mother died suddenly in 2009. My dad immediately went in to dementia. You cannot imagine... I suffered from clinical depression before those things happened. My husband was a rock during that time period. He was very good with my dad. My family wanted to nominate him for saint hood...
Two years later when things fell apart, it made it that much harder to believe...to reconcile the 2 sides of him..though he was not cheating on me until 2011 I believe. Even then it was an online emotional affair. She lived hundreds of miles away.

I was not married but my relationship was almost five years. When I was younger, people trying to hit on me made me anxious or annoyed. He was the first guy that I thought differently about. He was sweet, funny and a total dork. But the fact that I was a geek and he loved that was amazing. We had so many happy times together. We seemed perfect. I could talk to him about anything and everything and vice versa or we could just relax and cuddle.

Unfortunately, he had a selfish streak (which he admitted). He didn't talk about any problems he had and kept them inside until there he decided what was best for "us". I made him promise if he ever felt uneasy then to talk to me. But he didn't. He got scared after peoples weddings and though I did nothing to push him and yet did everything for him, he left.
There was no way I could truly keep fighting and help him if he won't ask for help.
And now I am left in the wreckage,piecing things back together.
Over dramatic, I know :P

With my ex-H I stayed out of comfort and when I tried to leave he like to tell me that I would never make it w/o him.

And when I say comfort, I mean financial - not really emotional. I was never satisfied and knew when we got married that it wasn't the best and really, right thing to do. I regret it totally.

I was suffering from temporary insanity.

He always took care of EVERYTHING. He would swoop in and "save" me. I felt like I didn't NEED to be independent, I didn't need to solve any problemshe did it for me.

My ex and I had been best friends since we were children. There was a lot riding on us making it, or so I thought. Plus he could stand me, he knew me better than anyone and he seemed ok with all my many faults.

This is going to sound stupid, and I'm not trying to be a smart a$$. But, what attracted me the most was her stretch marks from having kids, her BO after we would go for long peaceful runs together and sitting quietly together in the morning having coffee and she would accidentally let one "slip out". Loving the obvious is so easy, but, this fades. Loving their flaws, makes all the rest icing. I wish I could tell her that, I have this fantasy that the sudden abandonment and acrimony would somehow make this all abruptly change into a second chance.

But, I think the saying "Hell hath no furry like a woman scorned" seems to be the rule of the day. It confounds me and haunts me every minute of everyday, as hard as I try to think positive. I can't help the mental and emotional photo album that plays constantly in my mind. Had we had a toxic relationship, fighting and playing games with each other, it would be much easier to let go. But, the constant reinforcement that we would always be together, the broken vows without so much of an effort to work on the marriage, and the sudden transformation from Jekyll to Hyde baffles me to no end, and it's impossible to envision life without her.

And I miss the hell out of her sweaty body in the morning and reaching out to her, her coffee breath, and the fact that she looked past my faults, until the very end, when she left me alone to fight the biggest fight of my life by myself and now making it even harder. Ugh...I'm reaching out for help, PLEASE!!??