Love and marriage are worth it!!!

But, you need to remember, marriage is not all love and happiness. It is work, and effort. Some divorces occur because one person is just a total jerk. But, most happen because one or both aren't willing, or don't realize that happiness takes effort.

My belief these days is that too many people just give up. It looks so easy to just give up, and start over, that they do. They don't realize that this is just as hard and bad. (No one on this site though, of course...)

But, I encourage you to believe in love and marriage. But, then walk in making sure that you and our spouse are committed to work on and overcome issues. Do not be afraid to see counselors. And, most important, take an hour each week to ask each other, did I do anything this week that hurt you. And, what can I do to make you/us more happy. (And, get him to ask you this!) Love is great. Love requires constant work. And, love is worth every moment.

I guess im just hurt right now...
we had planned to get married, i put in as much work as i could.
i thought we made a good team... we even planned to have a baby, and im pregnant now... but he left me when i needed him most, because i couldnt work, and he said he had taken over finances for too long. he just left me. wouldnt talk to a counselor, nothing. so now im pregnant and on my own.... i really dont know what to do. having a hard time getting over it. really makes me think... what if we had gotten married? he was married once before...
so just makes me think....

good question and there is a lot written about marriage being a recent western creation...that it is more natural to pair with different people at different stages in life to be fulfilled. At least that is what my stbx informed me. she and her other adulterous friends all got into reading these books. For me personally, I love sharing my life with another person. Others are happy alone. They say the path is to get to know yourself and find what it is you want to be content. That it takes time to work through the pain and be ready for another relationship. I hope they are right...don't you?

honestly, i only ever WANTED to be with one person... EVER.
im not made for all this cheating and lying and up and leaving.
ive always hung around for the long run... to do whatever i could.
even though sometimes it kept me longer than i should have stayed.
I wanted that long term partnership, and i wanted the work that goes with it.
but now i just dont know. how many times can you fall in love before it loses its potency? or that its no longer really valid?
how many times can you say to yourself "this is the one" before you begin to see yourself as a liar and not trust your own emotions???
i know there is a time coming past all that i am going through...
but this has been on my mind for a long time...

Sorry that you are hurting Dracona but yes, I do believe in the marriage concept. To have experienced the love that I once had with my ex for 14 years was worth the heartache now.. Even though somewhat bitter and a lil' jaded at the moment, still look forward to the days that I shrare my life with someone.

What Meddle said - except I no longer see marriage as a neccessary part of sharing my love with someone.

no one feels like time spent was a waste? i do. cause i spent so much energy im drained now... i could have put it to better use.
gone gardening.... read a few books...anything.

What about the baby? You wouldn't have that if anything was different.

i had the baby cause i chose to. i know how not to get pregnant.
anyone could have been the donor, and thats all he is at this point...
so i dont owe him anything, including a thank you, for his 10 minutes of glory.
im not trying to be negative about love and marriage...
i actually envy those who can still see see it in such light... especially after having been through divorce. maybe its just cause personally, all i have ever known in life, even growing up is divorce, and hurt.
so the question still is for me... why? isnt it easier to just break up?
i mean, if i had been married to this man who left me...
geesh.. things wouldnt be alot harder and more complicated.

Marriage is abond between a man and a woman. The vows that are said in front of God are meant to last. Yes, that doesn't always happen, but a marriage should last. I am a Christian and marriage would be very important to me because I want a family, someday, and the marriage would be part of it.

True, Marriage is supposed to last forever. Not all do but who condemn all marriages because some people don't make committments and take them seriously.

Todays society works like this.....If it is broke then throw it out and get a new one. No one wants to fix things. This a horrible mentality but it is normal. Don't like your job, get a new one...Don't like your car, get a new one...Don't like your spouse..get a new one. People lack meaning and they are hollow if they live like this.

The best things in life aren't easy. If they were easy then everyone would have them. A good marriage is no different. It isn't an easy path but it is worth it if you realize it isn't easy and you are willing to do the necessary work.

its hard for me really, i dont know what the future holds, but i cant see myself trusting like that again.
and im not christian, so that slims my chances too. cause i keep getting that thrown in my face by men as well.
they date me for a year or so... then suddenly it bothers them that they are with me cause i am not christian...
i hate that excuse. i have nothing against anyone... so why do they have something against me?

i did and still do believe in marriage..but now that i'm going to get lifetime support..umm i dont see it happening..BUT it might and if mr right comes along, i'll be scared, take it slow and ask him to live with me *smirk*

Your calling right now is to be a Mother I would guess.

so sorry that you are hurting right now. i wish i had some answers. i married to be married forever not to be divorced. it wasn't my choice but my ex's.

its like, stuck between a rock and a hard place thinking about this.
cause i dont know if i could ever just live with a man again.
i wasnt ready to move in with him when i did. then i said, why not, im being paranoid...
guess paraniod is better than this.... i was trying to be a positive person, and he was so nice to me... i kept telling myself that i was just being negative, and that i deserved someone to care for me....
WRONG. he was sick to want me... cause i was not healthy at the time.

so i ask myself, where does this leave me? im afraid of marriage, i dont want to just live with anyone again... HOWEVER i want someone in my life? any of this make any sense? geesh...
im going to be old and alone.. LOL