Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
So I had appointment today to see counselor. This would have been my second visit. I was really looking forward to talking and getting some help, guidance or whatever. She wasn't there. That really annoyed me and didn't help at all. I had a hard time this weekend and these last few days and really thought talking to counselor would help. All I got was an apology from the front desk staff. Still haven't heard from anyone about a reschedule.
I think I'm done with that. Just gonna do my best to try to get through this. My ex is dead to me now and I hope his awful way of ending our relationship and his new girlfriend was worth it. He has lost me as not only a girlfriend, but as a friend.
I think I'm done with that. Just gonna do my best to try to get through this. My ex is dead to me now and I hope his awful way of ending our relationship and his new girlfriend was worth it. He has lost me as not only a girlfriend, but as a friend.
PLEASE don't let her tacky unprofessional behavior keep you from finding another therapist. There are good ones out there. You just may have to search a little. You can call and ask how they handle canceled appointments, both if the therapist has to cancel and if you have to cancel.
If I were in your shoes, I would wait a week past the appointment time. Then, if she didn't contact me, I would send her a letter or email explaining that I didn't appreciate not being notified and that an apology from the staff wasn't enough, and that my time is as valuable as hers. I would end by letting her know that I will not be seeing her or any of her staff for services again.
Most therapists provide clients with documentation prior to, or during, the first visit that states, among other things, their cancellation policy. Did she give you one? It would be interesting to see what her expectations are for her clients canceling and what she says about her having to cancel.
Keep looking for the right therapist. They are out there. I suggest you interview them before you decide which is right for you. Here are some questions you might want to ask potential therapists:
1. What additional training over and above what was required to obtain your degrees and license? If they say none or its very minimal, you might want to move on to the next possibility. That's because a therapist who doesn't keep learning/training is stuck and can only help anyone to a limited extent.
For example
a. What are your specialties? What additional and on-going training do you have in those specialties?
b. What modalities besides talk therapy do you use and which ones have you had additional training in? This is crucial because, IMHO, While talk therapy is essential to every modality that I can think of, talk therapy alone doesn't get to the sub & unconscious which is where the trauma is stored. (additional modalities might include things like EFT, EMDR, hypnotherapy, etc.)
c. What additional ethics training have you had?
2. Is there a healing component in each session? I found from my own experience that talking about things, especially the traumatic stuff, left me feeling worse when I left the session than when I started. There are modalities that include a healing component in each session. I can only speak for myself (and others that have expressed to me) that having a healing component not only helps us feel better when we leave, it can also help to empower us because we are doing our own healing with the guidance of the therapist. And those healing components build on each other.
3. Are you doing your own work? If they are insulted or refuse to answer, that's a pretty good indication that they are not. Its important for therapists to do their own work, otherwise they can only help clients to a limited extent. Again, move on to the next candidate.
4. What do you do if you have to cancel an appointment? What do you expect from me?
5. What are my rights as a client/patient?
Again, please don't give up on finding a good therapist.
~healing hugs~