I can totally understand that , I'm already thinking about things like that now. The fact is you are not a failure , your not the one that wanted this . So don't be hard on yourself like that. I think things like that , I think my poor son won't have a normal life but when I think about it my parents divorced when I was young , even with that I never believed I didn't have a normal life. What is a "normal" life these days anyway. I think your son was happy with you there , but I understand your pain. It will get easier as the pain subsides. I tell myself that anyway. As you get used to doing these thing alone with your son. At least you can say you were there with your son. That's something you Stbx can't say and she has lost a moment . You do what you need to take care of your son.

You are making progress.
You will have good and bad moments
I still cry daily but I am more controlled in my crying now.
My therapist shared with me the 5 stages of grief and I do bounce back and forth between the stages, but I am making some progress.,

There are good divorced families and bad married ones. I am sure all the married people are not as happy as they seem. Do try to work with your wife, you seem angry at her and assuming the marriage is over, work on ways on reasonably cooperation with child rearing.

Lamar,
You are making progress, even though you don't notice it. What are you talking about? Your son has a loving family atmosphere, which YOU will always provide for him. Your summers will be wonderful and your son will have plenty of opportunities to share at school, they might just be a little different. As I put my 7 yo girl in bed last night, I asked her if she was still very sad and she said yes. Then she asked if I could come back and live with daddy and I said no. She hugged me and said "Well, I will get used to this in a few weeks". Not assuming she is NOT hurting, I know she is, but it will NOT break her. I am learning from her to be strong and positive.
Honestly, I have been married for 13 years and have never had a wonderful summer or vacation to come back and brag about. I have always been envious of other families, but it was my marriage making me feel like an outcast. Don't assume all the families you see are as happy and functional as they appear. I recently saw a T-shirt saying "may your life be as good as your Facebook page". People plaster on happy faces all the time.
One day at a time, my friend.

Ave thank you. I guess that is true. Some of them are probably having their own struggles.

You can still give your son wonderful memories even if they don't include your stbx. I get angry with my stbx as well. At the selfishness of their decisions. But now that I know just how selfish he is I can at least be the stable parent and try to give the kids happy memories where possible. Those situations are tough. You see happy families and wish that your stbx wasn't so selfish. Holidays are tough too. But you will get through them. We all will.