Breakups & Divorce Support Group
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Most of you guys know my story and what is going on between my wife and I. I am wondering if I should still wear my wedding ring. Here is some more information.
A few days after we split I took my ring off and left it on the kitchen counter of the house. My wife saw that and made sure to tell me that she is still wearing hers. She also said that she isn't interested in dating other people....she just wants space (whatever that means). I told her that she could put my ring back on my finger.
Well, yesterday after we did talk awhile I am still in the Doldrums. She isn't totally leaving out the possibility of working things out. She is also not ruling out the possibility of divorce. She doesn't know what she wants. She just wants to be friends for now and see if anything more comes (that is incredibly hard for me).
After that whole thing I finally came up with my idea to Hold Fast (see journal entry). I keep telling myself to Hold Fast and it makes me not want to call her or email her. I am not going to play her game anymore...she has to come to me and start things back up (this giving space thing).
I haven't quite written the marriage off but it is not to say that I have much hope for it. The more I realize how much crap I put up with the more I look at the horizon.
All of that being said, Should I still be wearing my wedding ring? I did put it back on, in front of her yesterday and told her that I knew that we could work things out, but I took it off when I got back to the boat and thought about things more. I just put it back on this afternoon because I am changing locations to Culpeper Tomorrow and I don't want to loose the ring. I am really scared that if I loose it then if we start to rebuild things she would get mad about that and screw everything up.
Anyway, what are your thoughts on this because I am really torn in both directions. My biggest fear is loosing the darn thing. I don't really have a safe set place for it. At the same time I don't want to keep it on my finger because I am not totally ruling out the possibility that someone else could show up in my life.
Okay...that was a long post....let me know what your opinion is!
A few days after we split I took my ring off and left it on the kitchen counter of the house. My wife saw that and made sure to tell me that she is still wearing hers. She also said that she isn't interested in dating other people....she just wants space (whatever that means). I told her that she could put my ring back on my finger.
Well, yesterday after we did talk awhile I am still in the Doldrums. She isn't totally leaving out the possibility of working things out. She is also not ruling out the possibility of divorce. She doesn't know what she wants. She just wants to be friends for now and see if anything more comes (that is incredibly hard for me).
After that whole thing I finally came up with my idea to Hold Fast (see journal entry). I keep telling myself to Hold Fast and it makes me not want to call her or email her. I am not going to play her game anymore...she has to come to me and start things back up (this giving space thing).
I haven't quite written the marriage off but it is not to say that I have much hope for it. The more I realize how much crap I put up with the more I look at the horizon.
All of that being said, Should I still be wearing my wedding ring? I did put it back on, in front of her yesterday and told her that I knew that we could work things out, but I took it off when I got back to the boat and thought about things more. I just put it back on this afternoon because I am changing locations to Culpeper Tomorrow and I don't want to loose the ring. I am really scared that if I loose it then if we start to rebuild things she would get mad about that and screw everything up.
Anyway, what are your thoughts on this because I am really torn in both directions. My biggest fear is loosing the darn thing. I don't really have a safe set place for it. At the same time I don't want to keep it on my finger because I am not totally ruling out the possibility that someone else could show up in my life.
Okay...that was a long post....let me know what your opinion is!
What I didn't notice was when SHE stopped wearing hers! I still can't even make a rough guess.. the first time I noticed that I should have realized something was wrong!
I'm considering getting this http://weddingringcoffin.com/
I took his and flattened it with a hammer. Can't wait to give it back to him when the divorce is final (maybe I'll give it to him for Christmas this year since I got it for him last Christmas).
It's a personal decision, HeaveToo. You'll know what you need to do when the time comes.
Peace and hugs.
Furthermore, she needs to remember tht my job IS emotionally draining (usually not physically draining but sometimes it is) and is like nothing she has ever done. I don't think that she has ever pointed a gun at someone while working. She needs to give me time in the evenings to veg so I can let go of some of the things that have been bottling up in me for a while.
My wife needs to stop doing things impulsively and respect my advice. She wanted a REALLY NICE car that would have stretched the budget thin. I told her this. Her responce was it was her money and she wants it so she was going to buy it with or without me. She did.
She needs to respect me further by asking before doing when it comes to things that will effect both of us. My wife use to just bring foster cats into the house without asking. At times she had 12 cats in my house (that was nasty).
The list goes on and on. I am surprised, in a way, that I am hoping to work things out because she was really treating me rough for the last few years. I had my share of things that I did wrong (would have helped to have been told about them) but I still was willing to meet her half way on everything.
I never asked her to do anything that I wouldn't have done myself. When I asked her not to go out it wasn't because I was trying to be controlling....it was because we didn't have the money to spend on gas and whatever else after she bought that stupid car!!!
Give her your ring and tell her if she wants to work things out that you will discuss placing it back on at a later time in date.
Usually during a wedding vow we both place the others ring on their finger; she has departed from you, thus in theory removing the ring from your finger.
Yet who am I do give advice; my wife took her $8K ring and sold it for $175 on the street; her $15K Ebel for $1K, and took my ring when she left on one of her bi-polar trips and sold it $60.....
Good luck to you!