Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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sossie 02/04/2013

So I left at the end of May and have been offically divorced as of October 1, 2012. This coming Sunday would have been our 8th anniversary.

I still battle with the anger and the flashbacks of the trauma of my situation. Everyday I have to convince my self I don't need to cause him bodly harm. Everyday I need to convince my self that I am not stupid for sticking around as long as I did.

I am not doing very well mentally because of the upcoming date. How did you deal with that first anniversary coming around after you left?

I know I am going to be out of town this weekend, not sure where I am going to end up but know that I will NOT be around because I can't stand the thoughts of seeing my family and friends and them giving me looks of pity and I want to be an emotional mess if I need to be and not have to pretend otherwise....

N2Storms 02/04/2013

Sounds like you got the right idea in leaving town. I don't remember what I was doing during that first anniversary, probably working and there's been two more since, the last one I was on a date. I did hate the looks of pity from friends and family but I understood it was out of concern and I pretended I was okay for them and me. You'll make it through this anniversary and next year it'll be easier.

sandysan5743 02/04/2013

My piece of shit proposed on the 4th of July. Made a big scene in the city with his whole family there. Ruined that holiday forever for me. Thanks asshole. Good thinking getting away this weekend. You dont need a pity party.

deleted_user 02/04/2013

You said that this coming Sunday WOULD HAVE BEEN your 8th anniversary. So please don't be negative to yourself by saying:

"I will NOT be around because I can't stand the thoughts of seeing my family and friends and them giving me looks of pity . . . ."

Now that's mean to say about yourself. Do you really think that your family and friends aren't glad that you are out of the marriage. They're not thinking about pity, but glad you are away from it all.

Please be kind to yourself.

deleted_user 02/04/2013

The first anniversaries post split/divorce really really suck... but then they just recede into the past.
I had my tenth anniversary while we were going through the divorce process. It sucked giant hairy sweaty yeti balls! Similarly, my divorce was final ONE DAY after my 40th birthday. (Could've been worse, though--it could've been ON my birthday. :p )
Chin up. Hang with some supportive friends that day... maybe organize a girls' weekend/roadtrip/whatever.
((((((hugs))))))

deleted_user 02/04/2013

Oh--I really don't remember what I did on the what-would-have-been-tenth-anniversary... that stage of my life is blessedly somewhat of a blurry memory now... but I know that on my birthday, a few friends hung out with me for the evening--dinner, drinkies, etc... it was fun times with good, supportive, healing friends.

deleted_user 02/05/2013

Our son was born on our anniversary, so I look at it in a good light - something to celebrate! Glad I can cover up my un-anniversary with a birthday instead! My family took my son out for his birthday. I refuse to see the negative in any of it anymore.

sossie 02/07/2013

Thanks guys!

I have taken some time to give this all some real thought. I am still going to spend the weekend away from home but not for the originally intended reason.

I have made great strides in dealing with the rollarcoaster of emotions when dealing with him or even thinking about him. This morning I started to go there on my way to work but managed to stop my self and reassure my self that he no longer exists in my world and he is no longer my problem and I no longer have to deal with him. And it actually worked. I was able to redirect my thoughts some place else.

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