How old are your kids? If they are teenagers Id think they have the right to say no and decide they dont want to see her.. If they are younger than that, it sounds like they know way to much about the "Homewrecker" You may want to watch the conversations you have when they are around..

I know its hard.. and Im sure you despise this woman.. anyone would.. but if the children are young.. you may not want to talk negatively about the ex or the skank in their presence.. will cause them not to like her since they will automatically side with mommy on this one.. and things like adultery, and him "picking her over them" are things you really dont want the kids thinking or stressing about at a young age when they will be forced to interact with them both..

They will eventually grow up and draw their own conclusions on daddy and the skank...

I do not have kids. So really do not want to comment except to say that I know how sick it made me feel knowing the other man had contact with my German Shepherd. Only a dog but she is the closest thing I have to a child I guess and I leave her behind in 6 1/2 weeks with my stbx knowing that he will be her new master and that thought makes me feel like throwing up!! I sympathise immensly coming from the point of view of only a pet.

Contact your attorney. The best you can maybe do is see if you can postpone it citing the fact that they need counselling and are not ready to meet the OW. UNLESS the OW is proven to be a danger to them. The OW in my situation had her two previous children taken from her and has lost permanent custody (drugs and documented bad decision making concerning their well-being)...there's a court order preventing her from being around my kids that's been in place for a year and a half. BUT your kids may have a valid concern about him "picking her over them". Mine has RARELY seen his kids in this year and a half (5 minutes here and there with ONLY one 5 hour visitation a year ago) and he's had ZERO contact with them in nearly 8 months. I have a 13 year old son and a 15 year old daughter who now have a half brother who's almost 5 months old that they've never met...who knows if they ever will.

I know your pain. You feel powerless. The age of your children definitely matters. My friend's daughter is 16 and she stated to the judge that she does not want to be around the OW so it stipulates that the OW is not to be there. Document everything.

I would say talk to your attorney I know in the state that I live in you do not have to grant over night visitations if your spouse is living with another women even if you are divorced. Good luck to you hun .

You obviously have trained them well up to this point. They are communicating their disapproval of the situation. Validate that when they talk about it, but be sure NOT to berate or talk negatively. Keep it as matter of fact. "Yes, daddy made a mistake. No this is not what married people are supposed to do. But he is still your daddy. He still loves you." etc. Not "Dad is a no good cheating bastard. The OW is an ugly whore homewrecker. I hate them and you should too." Keep it dignified. Not for the sake of your stbx or the ow, but for yourself and the kids.

He is still their father. Flaws and all. They do need to build a relationship with him and unfortunately if the OW is going to be a part of his life, with her. It is much better for them to get along with her than for her to treat them poorly. Also, if she is having your stbx baby, she will be the mother of their step-sibling. They will naturally and appropriately want to build a relationship with him/her as well.

My kids are 9 and 13. I guess it would be too late to "not say anything negative" about the ow. I am guilty. I have voiced my disapproval of her and her actions to say the least. As far as their Dad goes, I don't say bad things about him such as: "He's a loser","I hate his guts", "Its all his fault" No, no no, I dont say those things. I reassure them that their dad still loves them but I do not lie to them and tell them that I agree nor do I condone such behavior. Regular therapy sessions have help them (also I) know it is okay to communicate their TRUE feelings. In the beginning we were like robots, trying "to be strong" by holding everything in. Instead we got sick. I lost weight dangerously fast. My son had nightmares and vomiting. And my daughter started having bathroom "accidents" in school.
So, NOW when my kids ask me,questions such as, "Mom are you sad that dad left?" I say, "Yes,Mama's sad, but because I am blessed with two wonderful kids I don't feel so sad" They asked me, "Mom do you hate that lady for taking Dad away?" I tell told them, "Yes, I do. I felt like I just wanted to hate her so much that I could slap her cross eyed (I cross my eyes and distort my face and they both start giggling) and then I told them "But, she did'nt TAKE your dad away honey, we are all resposible for our own decisions and choices" I also told them that "it is okay to feel angry at someone, we all have feelings,but it is important not to STAY that way because if you stay angry at someone how do you feel?" My 9 year old said, "Angrier!" My 13 year old said, "I feel real bad." I told them that they were both right and that THAT is why we could not hold on the the angry, because it "makes us feel bad inside",and we cant be HAPPY if we hold on to anger."