This resonates with me. 10 years ago I had something to offer, not a thing now. I'm not that young flirty gal who got a little attention, ( not a lot cause I'm a plain Jane) but I cleaned up good. I really don't think I'm going to find someone. Sometimes that scares me, but then the idea of being vulnerable enough to be in a relationship scares me more. I;m just settling into the idea of being alone, makes me cry though. You seem as though you wish to find someone, and I think you can. If you are brave enough to put your heart out there, you will find someone special.

Thank you for your encouragement! I find comfort in the knowledge that I am not alone in my fears of never finding love again -- not that I would wish this on anyone. I can't imagine ever being brave enough to put myself out there again, but who knows? I just keep thinking that all of the good guys my age are probably taken. I love being in love, but I am not sure I will ever find that again.

Tammi, there are a lot of us out there, trust me. Guys like me who aren't cherishing the idea of being alone in the so-called "golden years". If I've learned anything, it's that I can't find love if I don't open up to the possibilities. It hurts like hell to think that I may be alone for the rest of my days but I'm not giving up without a fight.

I was driving around tonight in a state of mixed emotions. Sometimes happy and optimistic about the future and other times sad and maudlin about what I've lost in the past. I hated being alone today and tonight but there wasn't a thing I could do about it. Keep your head up... Both of you....the right guy is waiting for his chance to meet you. Trust me..

I find the thought of putting myself back out there to find love again very scary and although i have been so betrayed someday I hope I meet someone even if it was just a friendship. It would be nice to have someone to talk to or even just share a meal or a movie with.

I have a belief that if you get desperate, it radiates like a bad perfume and can actually drive the good guys away because they pick it up. No one really wants a desperate woman except a not-so-good guy. And would you really want a desperate man?

To me, if you're so intent on finding someone, give yourself more time to get over your separation and divorce and focus work on yourself that you can be happy, feel loved and survive in this world alone. It's great if alone you become so at one that along the way you find a great person, but if it doesn't work out, you want to put it aside and know it's not the end of the world.

When you realize you don't need a man to survive, you exude a self confidence and happiness that is attractive. That's when you're likely to find a really good man. Ask others and they will tell you.

I'm 61, I make Medusa (with the snakes on her head) look like a beauty queen, and I wear the baggy tee shirts that have pretty glitter design fronts (no boob-age) and I'm disabled in an electric scooter. A lot has happened to me, but I am now at peace, happy with myself, happy where I live. I always wear a smile wherever I go. People talk to me and I talk back and I usually say something funny and we end up laughing so hard and we talk.

I've had men ask me for coffee sometimes at the supermarket, I have a male friend who asked me for coffee and I went and he would like to me more than friends, but I don't want that. He's a great guy, but right now I don't want a relationship. That may change in 6 months, or a year or 5 years. I had a man in Target talk to me and I said something and we laughed so hard and he asked me to the Caf in there to treat me to coffee and/or something to eat because he wanted to get to know me better. I appreciated it but declined.

So no more desperation, and no more talk of beauty. if I have people asking ME out for coffee, YOU GET OUT THERE WITH A SMILE, THINK OF SOME WITTY THINGS TO SAY AND GET YOURSELF SOME COFFEE INVITATIONS!!!!

Astimegoesby, I know you are trying to be helpful, but you have me pegged all wrong. I was going to elaborate, but there were so many things that were off in your post that it would have been quite the long post. I do appreciate your intent.

tammib, I feel for you and yes I have also gone through similar feelings and situations. I feel so alone right now. My husband left me for another woman and the other man I am in a relationship with tried to break up with me but I begged him not to. I don't know where to go and/or what to do.

One of the feelings I had to deal with was my self esteem issues. "No wonder he didn't want me anymore." "Nobody will ever want me anymore" "old, fat, blah blah blah."

I did have a 'fling", which is SOO not me! But, it was enjoyable. I had fun and it made a difference in how I felt about myself. Not that I recommend doing that, lolol.

I think it's normal to feel this way, especially when, as in my case, the spouse left for another woman.