Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Divorces are enormously stressful, and present many challenges. Frequently there are serious economic issues and familiar that see their way into court. Here are some things to consider.
1. Cost Divorcing people consistently unestimate the cost of legal proceedings. Preparation of papers take longer than expected, litigant's emphasis on details make them longer than needed, the need to appear tough means few points are conceded, attacks are met with counter-attacks, and there are inevitable delays,
2. Lawyers tell clients what they want to hear Experienced businessmen may sniff out syncophants and yes men, but the stressed and insecure client needs to be told she is right and entitled to what she seeks. The lawyer who suggests listening to the other side is thought of as weak, and inexperienced if not corrupt. Friends counsel sketicism and toughness. Jane, you need to understand how drastically your situation may become, and I know divorced mothers working two jobs and raising a family. Bob, I know fathers with high blood pressure and stomach problems, while their wives enjoy spending sprees. You can always give more, don't become obligated to do what you cannot afford.
As a result, thousands and tens of thousands of dollars can be wasted.
Limited savings are depleted, college funds eliminated, `and some lawyers feel entitled to a high standard of living on their client's dollar. See The Millionaire Matchmaker (story of the divorce lawyer).
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1. Cost Divorcing people consistently unestimate the cost of legal proceedings. Preparation of papers take longer than expected, litigant's emphasis on details make them longer than needed, the need to appear tough means few points are conceded, attacks are met with counter-attacks, and there are inevitable delays,
2. Lawyers tell clients what they want to hear Experienced businessmen may sniff out syncophants and yes men, but the stressed and insecure client needs to be told she is right and entitled to what she seeks. The lawyer who suggests listening to the other side is thought of as weak, and inexperienced if not corrupt. Friends counsel sketicism and toughness. Jane, you need to understand how drastically your situation may become, and I know divorced mothers working two jobs and raising a family. Bob, I know fathers with high blood pressure and stomach problems, while their wives enjoy spending sprees. You can always give more, don't become obligated to do what you cannot afford.
As a result, thousands and tens of thousands of dollars can be wasted.
Limited savings are depleted, college funds eliminated, `and some lawyers feel entitled to a high standard of living on their client's dollar. See The Millionaire Matchmaker (story of the divorce lawyer).
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Wake up call for some maybe? My wake up call left me last year. I've been a stay at home/home schooling mom for over a decade, no job, no family close to help. I've done what I had to do, fill out all the dang papers myself and pray he doesn't respond. That's where I"m at now. So, to me, lawyers are a luxury. Forget getting played by one, I'm at the mercy of the people that I will encounter in the "SYSTEM", oooo, the big scary SYSTEM! The thought is enough to make me puke. That someone that doesn't know a damn thing about me will have control in making decisions over me and my children, and they will effect all of my time on this earth with my children! From now until they are on their own, that's a long time. My youngest is 7. Heartbreaking that people think this is OKAY! This is not okay. I have to rely on the hope and prayer that the judge will see that my husband is forgoing his responsibility and commitment for a good time in strip clubs and porn shops to appease his depression that he refuses to treat medically.
So, if your post was to deter people from divorce, I applaud you. There was a reason why people made a commitment to begin with...it's like gee, I want to have kids and get a house and do all this lovely family stuff with you, but I NEED to know you are always, ALWAYS going to be there to back me up and help out and do this with me the whole time it's going on, it's ALOT of work to take on, having a family and raising some new human beings! ... I mean, don't even look twice this way if you can't hack it! Just turn and go. No problem.
But it doesn't work that way. It's more like....Well, you're fun, and I surely like sleeping with you and that's about all that matters to me so, SURE! I'll make a commitment, I just don't want to lose the sex. Well, a few years into it and it's not as fun anymore and,well shoot, you just don't get the sex as much as youwant, so you gotta go now??? But wait, these new humans...we had a COMMITMENT!
Should we just do like a pinkie swear now? What's the whole point of getting married anymore. I think it's a big joke just to hear about someone getting married anymore. It's a huge waste of money, and time, and emotion...especially for the kids. Yes, that's it...PINKIE SWEAR! But I'll bet the hand hiding behind your back will have the fingers crossed!
(synicism not aimed at anyone in particular, just a thought or two)