It's been a while since I posted here so I thought I would update all of you on my situation.  The holidays were way better than I expected.  Stbx was on his Best behavior and I felt surprisingly happy, happier than I can remember feeling during past holiday seasons.  It felt like a weight was off my shoulders.  Our trial date is set for February 6.  For those of you who are new to the board, stbx and I have been married for 23 years and are still living in the same house.  

So we've been going along preparing for this.  He's been traveling a lot for business which is good.  Last week he came home from a business trip and shocked me by saying he wanted to wait on the divorce.  He said he wanted to do the best thing for our daughter who is going to graduate from college next year and then start medical school.  He said he didn't want to be the kind of person who would deny giving her something in the divorce just because I would benefit from it.  He said that if we waited a year, it would give her a chance to concentrate on her studies and finish up school without the stress of the divorce and it's how come upon her shoulders and it would give us a chance to fix up our house to sell it for a higher price.  Then he apologized for everything you ever did to hurt me and started crying.  He told me he loved me and he always wanted and gave me a big hug.  I was absolutely speechless.  Not that I haven't heard this line of BS 100 times throughout our marriage, but rather that he would say this to me after all he has done to me in the last six months.  I did not want to drag this out for another year but considering that I still have not found a job, I thought it would be best to wait maybe 30 to 60 days so that I could continue with my health insurance and continue my job hunting efforts.  He said he wanted to meet with the bank and me so that he could talk to them about what he could do to help me keep the house.  I told him that I wanted to speak with my attorney about all of this first though because I had some concerns.  He told me that he had spoken to his attorney who told him that she was very happy that we were talking and trying to negotiate a settlement on our own and that it would be no problem for us to put the divorce off for another 30 to 60 days and that we should just call her and keep her informed.

this week he was gone on a business trip and before he laughed he asked me to set up an appointment with the bank for when he got back.  Before I did that though I called my attorney to ask her about this whole thing and she was rather stunned herself.  She told me that the attorney he claims to have spoken to last week has actually been gone from stbx's attorneys firm for over a month.  Now it was my turn to be stunned.  She said she would call his attorney and find out who is handling the case now and ask about getting a 30 to 60 day extension.  When she called me back later she gave me the new attorney's name and said that the new attorney agreed to a 60 day extension in order to give herself time to familiarize herself with our case.  I then set up a meeting with the bank and texted stbx to let him know about the 60 day extension, the bank appointment and the name of his new attorney.  He responded simply thanking me for setting up the bank meeting.

later that night my attorney called me to tell me that his attorney called her to say that he did not want an extension and wanted to go through with the divorce on February 6.  I was blown away! After all his tears and his talk about wanting to do what was best for our daughter!  And he never mentioned it to me himself either ... just sent me a text thanking me for setting up the bank appointment.  

So we are still meeting with the bank and I am preparing to go through with the divorce on February 6.  I'm actually looking forward to it because if anything this last two weeks has taught me, it's that I absolutely have got to get off the Crazy Train!

Now, he's pushing me to take my name off our joint account or he will start a separate one in his name only and he wants to cut my cell phone off the plan.  I told him I have to talk to my attorney first as I was under the impression that no changes could be made until the divorce was final.  Meanwhile, he's been putting on the Mr. Nice Guy act.  God, I can't wait until he is out of my life!