Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
So it's been a little over two weeks since we called off the wedding. I've taken a lot of time to look back on our relationship and pinpoint times where I just was not happy. I tried talking to another guy but my heart was not in it. I felt horrible because he is perfect in every way, except he does not have an education (which I have now categorized as a must---not that its bad if someone does not). I want someone that can provide for me because I am not here to maintain anyone, as rude as that sounds. So I had to let him know that I was not ready for any relationship because I needed to work on myself. I've been with someone for over 6 years so I think I need a little breather just to work on what I want, even if I do get lonely.
Anyway, last week my ex-fiance texted me saying "Hope all is well but you need to understand we are over. Please do not contact me again. Take Care". I was beyond LIVID! I had soooo many emotions I needed to get out because I did nothing to him yet he was being so immature about it all. I wrote him a really long email just stating everything that I was feeling. Everything that I found wrong in our relationship and how he really made me feel all these years. It felt really good letting it all out even if I do not know if he read it or not. I have blocked him from my email and phone. I still find myself missing him though. On Sunday night a few tears came out I think it's just because I was so used to having someone and even after everything I did love him. I find myself wanting to stalk his friends facebook pages to see if they post pictures of him and his new flavor of the week....but I am stopping myself. I figure that is just keeping the wound open and I need to learn to forget about him all together.
I have no intentions of ever getting back with him, I am better off without him. But when will the hurt go away? I saw a little quote online the other day and it really made me think and it comforted me a little. It said "The reason why GOD allowed him to walk away is because you prayed for a good man, and he wasn't it"...the next little saying was "No good thing GOD will withhold from you. If he told you to leave that place or a person, it wasn't meant to be. Be patient, in His time you will receive what's yours."
Hope everyone is getting through this holiday season. It's almost the new year which means new beginnings! Happy New Year, everyone! =)
Anyway, last week my ex-fiance texted me saying "Hope all is well but you need to understand we are over. Please do not contact me again. Take Care". I was beyond LIVID! I had soooo many emotions I needed to get out because I did nothing to him yet he was being so immature about it all. I wrote him a really long email just stating everything that I was feeling. Everything that I found wrong in our relationship and how he really made me feel all these years. It felt really good letting it all out even if I do not know if he read it or not. I have blocked him from my email and phone. I still find myself missing him though. On Sunday night a few tears came out I think it's just because I was so used to having someone and even after everything I did love him. I find myself wanting to stalk his friends facebook pages to see if they post pictures of him and his new flavor of the week....but I am stopping myself. I figure that is just keeping the wound open and I need to learn to forget about him all together.
I have no intentions of ever getting back with him, I am better off without him. But when will the hurt go away? I saw a little quote online the other day and it really made me think and it comforted me a little. It said "The reason why GOD allowed him to walk away is because you prayed for a good man, and he wasn't it"...the next little saying was "No good thing GOD will withhold from you. If he told you to leave that place or a person, it wasn't meant to be. Be patient, in His time you will receive what's yours."
Hope everyone is getting through this holiday season. It's almost the new year which means new beginnings! Happy New Year, everyone! =)
The pain will go away when the pain goes away. It's as simple as that. We must go through it to heal. The alternatives are to make ourselves suffer more because we so try to make it go away or to suppress it through addictions.
It's like childbearing. You must go through the labor to birth the child. Then the fruit of your labor gives you a beautiful new baby.
Think right now as yourself being born anew and at the same time you must bear down and be with it as long as it lasts.
In the meantime while the labor is great do things that make you happy. Never mind that your ex-fiance doesn't want to hear from you. Reach out to people who do want to hear from you.
Reach out to things that bring you joy. I'm not sure if you like to do artwork or crafts or dance, but whatever these things are for you, do a few of them each day.
Like you I have stopped myself from stalking my soon to be ex-husband. I know his email information and almost tried to log in to see what he is up to, but I stopped myself saying #1 it isn't my business and #2 this is not healing for me.
So I move on to love me and be good to me.
Are you up for this new invitation in your life? To love and take care of you?
Sending you a gentle hug. Feeling the pain with you.