Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
We've been married for 4.5 years. We are on the brink of divorce. Frankly I'm not sure why we're both still holding on. He says he's not in love with me. He says he holds too much resentment, frustration and anger towards me to ever move forward. He is cold, distant, irritable and at times just downright mean. He has even admitted that he's hoping I'll be the one to give in so that he doesn't have to look/feel like the bad guy.
At this point, I mostly just want it to work for practical reasons - finances, avoiding the hassle, upheaval and drama it would cause. I am miserable. I deserve to be happy. I should be with someone that actually appreciates and cherishes me and WANTS to be with me, too.
I feel hopeless. I feel like if (when) this all falls apart I'll be left with nothing while he skips off into the sunset.
I am scared there is nobody out there for me. For the last 3+ year all I heard from him were all the negative aspects about myself. I am seriously starting to doubt that I could ever find a man who loves me for me.
Quality of life for you right now, maybe a 2? maybe a 3?
What level do you think you'd manage alone? I'd say at least a six.
And then if you met someone who knows. Maybe even an 8.
So bottom line: a 2 till you die, or a shot at an 8 or a 10?
I know which I'd choose. Well. I know what I did choose. And auntie? far, far, far, far, far more relaxed.
Sounds like your husband hates your guts. Why flog a dead horse?
Who has brainwashed people into this collective trance that people want to stay with someone they don't get along with and take abuse from rather than go out and live life as a happy single person?
Be happy and live your life and if you find a companion to share it with, it's just something else to be happy about.
If not, you're happy and fulfilled anyway.
Lord. People have been crippling themselves forever.
It comes from the inside out.
Ex does hate my guts, I stayed 12 years too long and
I regret It every day. It never got better only worse when
they become like that. The marriage had become toxic
and there Is no coming back from toxic.
I hope you are in therapy, i also go to alanon and divorce
Care helps a lot with the grieving and divorce process. You
Will be much better off healing yourself first before thinking
or worrying about another new relationship, HUGS
if this goes way south I have the same feeling lonelyk. I feel that I will be a 38 year old father of two that no one will want or desire....she tells me I am a great man....funny because I thought a woman would want that..... trying to stay positive around the kids.
Is there any chance that you can sit down and talk, and go through everything that is upsetting to you, and suggest counseling? It might prove very helpful in releasing all the issues that you have with him, and provide an avenue to work things out.
There are lots of free ways to seek counseling online. I think marriages are worth fighting for, but people usually don't change miraculously, they need help. I was on the brink of leaving my husband a few years back. We all have hard times and have all made mistakes on different levels. You might check out the www.nationalmarriage.com. They might be able to help you work things out.
When we were struggling, we were not going to church or even knew God, but found a way to get through it by learning to pray together. We sought God’s help and asked God to intervene and guide us through those rough times. Together, with God, our love and marriage was restored. When you have exhausted every avenue, it might be worth trying.
I will be praying for you, and your marriage. I hope you can find the love, security and happiness that you so well deserve!
And he's dead wrong thinking that the one who files is the "bad guy". The plaintiff (one who files) is usually the one who is hurting the most in the marriage, the one who can't take it any longer. My marriage counselor asked me, when I was not yet 100% committed to divorcing, if I would divorce if it were an easy process. I immediately said "yes". That revelation pretty much sealed the deal for me. Yes, it's been a ton of difficult work, emotional stress, and lots of ugliness, but it was absolutely the way to go for me. There is happiness post divorce. I know it because I'm so much happier now than I was a year ago. I'm almost divorced, I started my happy party early.