Hi, I was on this support group website 10 years ago as I went through my divorce.  I never thought I'd make it, but I did.  It took two and a half years to get over my ex-husband.  In the meantime, he got engaged to a Russian Mail Order Bride.  Nice, huh?  But he was going to show me.  I'm the one who initiated the divorce.  My ex-husband was verbally, emotionally, mentally, and financially abusive.  There was a little physical abuse.  I was married to him for 19 years. 

About 6 months after getting over my ex, I met my now ex-boyfriend.  He was wonderful, amazing.  It was the exact opposite of who I was married to and I believed with all my heart that I made a really good decision.  I met him in 2010.  By 2012 he was breaking up with me to try to reconcile with his ex-wife, who, when found out that her ex-husband (my boyfriend) had asked me to marry him, suddenly he was all bright and shiny and new to her.  I was shattered and devasted.  In the end, it didn't work out and he was pursuing me again.  I was thrilled.  After 4 months of texts and emails I went back with him.  We were living in another state, a state that was rife with all sorts of issues.  A bad economy was putting it mildly.  My ex-boyfriend took a major paycut to move back to this state and I was to find good employment.  This proved to be very difficult.  I eventually got a job that although I liked where I worked and I liked the people I was working with, I didn't know what I was doing or why I was doing it.  There were user unfriendly data bases for everything.  I was overwhelmed.  I was a clerk and by month 6 the training hadn't stopped.  I tried to tell my manager, but, well in the end I quit.  I went to work as a teacher's assistant which is what I used to be in another state.  I was taking a major paycut myself for this job.  I lasted 10 weeks and had a melt down.  When I got home from work, my wonderful boyfriend was buying me a one way ticket home for a temporary period of time.  Eventually he broke up with me over facebook messenger - after 6 years together?  He had been cheating on me and decided that this woman (who he was cheating her with me) would be a better partner than me.  They broke up once it was found out about his deceit.  Then, guess what?  He was coming back toward me.  Now, as an aside, while we were waiting for me to find gainful employment while I was still with him, he spent his inheritance and cashed in his retirement to keep us going.  I didn't know the ins and outs of what he was doing financially, but he now blames me for his downturn financially.  I had to block him on social media and he never did get my new cell phone number.  Right after Thanksgiving he asked a mutual friend to ask me for my number.  I wasn't giving it to him.  I couldn't take his blaming and complaining and put downs any longer.  Most unfortunately, all my belongings are still down in that state in his house.  I don't make enough money to retrieve it.  I've tried working with him on this.  I don't even make enough money to get out on my own.  I've been living with my parents for over 3 years.  This is not where I saw myself at age 54.  I'm still heartbroken and devastated.  When I fall in love with someone, I am in with my whole heart and soul.  Extracating myself from this horrible state is difficult to say the least.  But I keep moving forward hoping one day, I will feel better.  I know if I get over him, good things will start to happen for me.  Thank you for reading this.