Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Hi there,
So I talked to my ex about telling our son before school starts that we are separating - ex has been away most of the time since I told him it was over. My son has high functioning autism and he needs more time than others to adjust to changes. He doesn't want to tell him - says it will cause him pain and long term hurt - this coming from someone who on top of refusing to discuss issues with me and turning his back, telling me I'm complaining and looking for trouble when something is wrong - and then on top of it all starts corresponding with his ex, telling her she's beautiful and reminiscing about their time together - I'M THE ONE who's causing the pain and hurt! Apparently its my choice to end the relationship - its not his choice but mine! He left me no choice! Once again, turning it around and making it all my fault! Apparently him saying he sorry is enough and I should just accept it and we try again. This is the second time he's done this to me - the last time instead of working with me to fix out problems,he fooled around with one woman physically while corresponding with his ex about meeting up. I can't do it all again and find myself in this same spot in another few years.
Sorry for the rant, I'm just so pissed off that I have been such a fool for so long. And I was feeling bad for him and the pain he was in about us ending. The sad part is I think he has autism too and really truly doesn't get it.
So I talked to my ex about telling our son before school starts that we are separating - ex has been away most of the time since I told him it was over. My son has high functioning autism and he needs more time than others to adjust to changes. He doesn't want to tell him - says it will cause him pain and long term hurt - this coming from someone who on top of refusing to discuss issues with me and turning his back, telling me I'm complaining and looking for trouble when something is wrong - and then on top of it all starts corresponding with his ex, telling her she's beautiful and reminiscing about their time together - I'M THE ONE who's causing the pain and hurt! Apparently its my choice to end the relationship - its not his choice but mine! He left me no choice! Once again, turning it around and making it all my fault! Apparently him saying he sorry is enough and I should just accept it and we try again. This is the second time he's done this to me - the last time instead of working with me to fix out problems,he fooled around with one woman physically while corresponding with his ex about meeting up. I can't do it all again and find myself in this same spot in another few years.
Sorry for the rant, I'm just so pissed off that I have been such a fool for so long. And I was feeling bad for him and the pain he was in about us ending. The sad part is I think he has autism too and really truly doesn't get it.
Regarding your husband - stop getting angry at him for things you are allowing. If this isn't the first time he fools around w/other woman getting mad at him isn't going to fix your issue, getting rid of him will.
Who's causing the pain isn't relevant - I know you are angry but the man is showing you who he is yet you are trying to fix someone who doesn't care to be fixed. You might want to focus on you and on getting to a place of peace.
Sorry that you are dealing with all this but some folks aren't worth keeping around if you don't have peace - what's the point of having a man around that's so eager to run around w/other woman including his ex?
Take care and focus on your sanity, your son and your well being.
You're right getting angry and continuing to talk with him about it is pointless. It is time to move on and for me to focus on me and limit my discussion with the ex to what is best for our son.