Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I was seeing someone for 5 months. We met online and have visited in person 3 times. Most recently, I drove from NY to FL to visit her over the holiday break. My son, who is 3, had a couple of meltdowns while we were there. I believe it is to be expected because he is only 3 and was out of his normal schedule and routine. The person I was seeing and had fallen head over heels in love with decided that a future of raising a little boy so young what not in her plans. So she broke it off. I have not felt pain like this in so long. I went through a breakup after 4 years with my ex and handled it better than this. I think I am taking it so hard because she helped me regain my self esteem and hope for the future and I really thought she was the one. I know she is struggling with some of her own issues, as she is trying to move to NY and fears the courts won't let her move with her teenaged daughter. I am so sad. I had forgotten how it feels to be so sad. This all was over the last few days and yesterday was the first day in over 5 months that I didn't have any contact with her. My heart is broken. And tonight, I have to put my 14 year old cat down because he is sick and suffering. I am usually such an optimistic person and right now I am so down, I don't even know what to do with myself. I am seeing a therapist tonight after I put my cat down. I feel so sad and so stuck. I can't seem to let go.
This woman has done you a favour by telling you now that she is not willing to accept a massive part of your life. It may not feel like that now, but staying with someone who isn't ready for a true commitment is never a good idea.
This will probably be the hardest time now, so be gentle with yourself. Take each day or minute one at a time and allow yourself time to feel down. Come on here and speak to people who share similar experiences and get it all out.
Thinking of you and sending you well wishes
Remember that when we experience things like loss, it is often not only the loss of the day but the loss from other sad experiences as well.
This loss reopened wounding for you. The good news is that this is a normal thing--and even though it doesn't feel good, it is for the best to have learned that your new girlfriend wasn't ready to raise another child at this time.
She is probably sad, too, but will need to cope with her own life challenges.
I'm sorry about your cat and your sadness. Many of us on this forum are sad and still healing from our losses.
Learn how to love you and feel your own sense of self-esteem as much as you can. The most important relationship all of us can have is first with ourselves.
Sending a gentle hug.