You dodged a bullet. She was sugar daddy shopping. When she realized you were bogged down financially with your current wife, she went looking elsewhere.

Be wise.

Be divorced and healed before dating is
My feeling on the subject. I am not being
Judgemental either. Its just not healthy.

Therapy at this time will help you a lot with
your Coping and just plain talk it out and
Figure out your own game plan.

I could no more date right now because i am
Not squared away from my own divorce. I have
my Demons to contend with after a 30 year
Marriage.

Often time rebound relationships hurt worse
After the breakup than the primary one. You had
Not dealt with or grieved your marriage. Then the
Ego gets another hit and the your self esteem hits
An all time low. HUGS

You have a lot going on right now, its impressive that you are still going and motivated to work on these relationships. That is showing alot of strength, as for your father and that situation try not to drain yourself with it. That can be very hard it sounds like you are a thoughtful caring person but with whats going on in your own marriage thats where your focus needs to be. It awesome that she is willing to seek counsling with you, thats the best place to start. Child hood abuse is something that is very difficult to work through, my wife and I have to do some of that and its not easy or a quick fix. I jus want to encourage you to continue the fight, its hard to feel like you always have to be strong because every one around you is falling apart, as you mentioned continue to find peace and comfort in your children. I would try and find a close buddy, pastor, or another male figure in your life that youcan go to and just get things off your chest. Someone that will listen and let you vent and blow off some frustration, but then will help keep you on track and motivated to be the rock your family needs.

Buddy, first of all you have to understand and believe one thing that anyone reading your story will understand, but is hard for you who is living it to fully get it: It was an unhealthy relationship from the very start. It would have ended one way or another and badly no matter what.
You are now feeling the pain and will have to mourne what you didn't from your divorce, then add to that pain the loss of this girl you feel you are in love with. It is hell on wheels right now for you and it will take some time to heal.
Don't blame yourself. Don't blame her. Don't blame ANYONE or ANYTHING. say to yourself these words: "It is what it is" and let go.
Right now it is time for you to think only about yourself and your children. No one else. Be selfish and take your time to heal in a postive and healthy way.
I have to run but I will be back and finish writing because there is so much more to say......

Big hug for now

So as I was saying.... You need to start working on yourself.
Please understand it is ok to cry and to hurt... There is nothing wrong with that whatsoever. BUT it is not ok to start wallowing in saddness and in selfpity. You need to push forward and evolve into a better you. Rise above this slowly at first but don't stop rising.
I beg you to read some of my other posts and find some comfort in them. Also try to talk to as many people posting here on this group. It will help you to understand that you are not alone and also to feel you can actually help others.
Good Luck my friend.

I appreciate your post Wolf. It's dead on. It's hard right now but I'm trying to move on. Thank you.

I agree with wolf here too. Starting a new relationship before you're divorced and healed is setting you up for disaster. You're going to have to spend some time being single and being comfortable with that. Be patient. it can take several years.

But think of it this way: Don't go grocery shopping when you are hungry; you make bad decisions.

So don't go dating when you're lonely; you make bad decisions.

Take heed I met my current husband 6 mths after leaving my first. I'm now getting divorced for a 2nd time. Marry in haste is a bad idea. I was so vulnerable I believed the dream he sold me & am now living a nightmare with a 2 year old. I will never regret meeting him as I wouldn't have my son but without him I regret the day I clapped eyes on him. Be good to yourself, it's a long s****y journey but you will get through it - I was starting to & just as I was starting to smile I was unfortunate enough to meet my soon to be ex. When we experience these losses we need to heal fully first - I realise that now. Had I not been so vulnerable I wouldn't of given him the time of day. Lesson well & truly learned. One day you'll be grateful you realised what you do when you did xx I wish I had.

@speechless1000--just what I needed to hear this morning. Thank you :) To the original poster, so sorry you are going through this. I have been separated from my husband going on 4 months, and I still have days where I just want to curl up in a ball and dont do anything. However, life doesn't work that way and I have looked at this experience as a lesson even though my STBX looks at it as a mistake (his words) so like speechless and the other posters say, take time to grieve and work on you because it does get better. I am starting to see that but there are days like I say doesn't always feel that way. Sending lots of positive thoughts your way!

Thank you.