I am so sorry you are going through this, especially during a pregnancy. Do you have friends or family you are able to confide in, someone to lean on while you try to make sense of this all? I know it is difficult to think about being a single parent, but what you really need to focus on is the life you want to give to this child. After all you have been through with this man, do you see him as someone who loves you or hurts you? It is hard to say if he will ever change, but if he doesn't is this what you want your child to grow up witnessing. You are a beautiful, loving person who deserves love and support in return. It is rare that we are able to change a person, I truly believe that someone will only change if they see that it is necessary. Relationships like this are so very difficult and can leave us in a very dark place, I think that if you are able to get all this out into the light, by talking about it, you will see that this is probably not a picture of a healthy relationship. I struggled for years in a verbally abusive relationship and I can understand how difficult it is to break the chains that keep us bound up in that place of darkness. Once I started to talk about what was going on, to tell people about the years of mistreatment, I found more support than I ever imagined. I know this is difficult but I pray that you are able to find someone you are able to confide in, to help you find the joy you deserve.

Sorry I took so long to respond. We have officially separated for the past month and even though it's sad I do feel a lot more calm and hopeful about my future with this baby. It's just really hard trying to coparent with somebody like this. I try to only talk about the baby with him and a lot of times he's really into it and happy about it and some days out of nowhere he will isult me and tell me how much I didn't care for him when he told me I should have an abortion and I decided not to. I actually did go to planned parenthood to get the abortion pill just to stop him from treating me the way he was and to do what he wanted because I do care about him and his feelings and I was told they only had one doctor that can give the pill and they didn't have any openings for weeks. They told me I could come in the next week for a suction abortion and that was just too much for me I didn't want to hear the sound of my baby being suctioned and run the risk of my body being hurt. The most hurtful thing is that he calls me a lier all the time. But I haven't lied about anything, he didn't go with me to any appointments ever otherwise he would know I'm telling the truth. But on top of having to go through this pregnancy alone I'm constantly called a lier and told how much I didn't care about his feeling and how much I ruined his life with my "selfish choices". Not only is it extremely hurtful it's just simply NOT true at all. He was just absent all the time so he doesn't know. I just keep insisting on stopping the fighting and just try to get along for the baby and he doesn't seem care for that, he picks up fights out of nowhere about the past. He has done extremely hurtful things to me in the past but I just move forward because I just want to communicate peacefully with the father of the baby and it's like banging my head against the wall constantly. I've told him since he didn't want this baby he doesn't have to be involved and I'm ok doing it alone, but he insists he wants to be there for the baby, so great, but him being there means him fighting and arguing and insulting and calling me a lier when I'm not. I don't want to cut him off the baby's life because that's not fair to the baby, however is it fair to the baby to have a father that instigates fights with the mother for no reason? I want to provide a peaceful home for my child and I can already tell he's going to make that difficult. Thank you so much for your words of advice I appreciate it a lot. I'd love to talk more. Thanks a lot!