You aren't and you won't. You're having a moment and you'll have a million more. Keep breathing....

Post whenever you feel like you're going to lose it. Someone will have your back.

Be strong/.. for your kids. Although I understand how difficult it is to put up a "show" I still admire you for having your composure in front of the kids. You didn't mention the reasons why you can't keep it up anymore, maybe we cam offer some words of advice or words of encouragement.

Hang in there man, pray, vent, meditate, cry, whatever you feel the need to do--it will help. I woke up feeling down today as well.

I went through the devastating break up of my marriage eight years ago. Looking back I think I had some kind of emotional breakdown because my grief led me to lose my long time career shortly thereafter. I crawled into a bottle and stayed there for 2 years while attempting to continue being a mother. Whenever the kids were not home I would scream and cry and rant and rave scaring my poor dogs at times and having to make sure the windows were closed so neighbors wouldn't thing a murder was happening. I lost thirty pounds during this grief period which is a process that must be gone through without skipping any of the steps. Feel your pain and anger and work through the feelings as they come up. this is so important that you do not suppress any of them as you will not heal. There are wonderful websites dealing with the grief process that helped me immensely and guided me through it. I got stuck on a step now and then (anger),(denial) but learned that each phase must be felt and dealt with in order to heal. To be honest , I was not myself again for about 5 years but everyone grieves at their own pace, mine just took longer because of the anger I got stuck in for a long while. there is alight at the end if this tunnel though. I am now remarried , have a great new career, and am able to be around my ex without murderous thoughts ! I'm over it and you will be too but you must be patient and above all be kind and gentle with yourself throughout the grieving process. You don't need to explain yourself to anyone - when you need to hide away and lick your wounds just do it and remember: sleep, yell, cry, eat, repeat. It does get better and life does go on and you will be happy again...words from a survivor. PEACE and hugs

There are days when I just want to curl up into a ball and stay in bed. Days where I wish I was 5 years old and that my Mommy could just take care of things for me and make it all go away. I know exactly what you mean about putting on a face for the kids. It's tough sometimes. Especially when my 3 yr old sometimes asks 'where's Mommy? I want Mommy.' Fortunately, I have an answer for him (for now) - as she just got some limited supervised visitation time with them. So at least I can say, 'Mommy misses you, and you'll see her on Saturday!' Even though I may not be excited about the prospect of the visitation, I am excited for my son, because I know he needs that. Hang in there, Somerdad34.

The stress is getting to me. I just started a new job a few months ago. I left my old one, which I loved, because of uncertanties. My new one is ok but not great.

Now, I have to deal with divorce, not telling the kids, keeping up appearances. AAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

#4- awesome story - thanks for sharing. Like you I was staying stuck in my anger and it was hindering my progress.

Poster - it's hard - you are not alone. Had I not had a flexible job I think I would have been fired - very hard to focus - but hang in there, it gets better slowly. Like the other person said, do not suppress how you feel though - makes it worst - when ppl say "heartache" is not a joke - it really raises our blood pressure level and creates lots of anxiety. When the kids aren't around - cry if you need to, but do your best to not break down around them. They worry too much and they feel our pain and tension.

Be Strong!