Do not indulge this behavior . Staying in that dark place sucks and does not serve you. That being said. It is almost impossible not to do that. However I think that if youturn your attention to others you can free yourself from that pain. Go do five nice acts for people you know. But you cant tell them what you are doing. Give a couple of bucks to the homeless. Volunteer in a shelter. Go help one of your friends that needs. it.
That works for me.

I know it's sad when life has dissappointed you. I know it's hard when life gives you cards you never you wish you got. Though, we can't control what life gives us, only our reaction to it.

I'm also going through something similiar - I have cards that are tough to deal with but I can only control my reaction...I can only try to "bloom where I am planted". You can too.

rose, I totally hear what you are saying, and I am fighting my disappointment in life as well. I KNOW better things await me. I KNOW this is the right thing to do, even though I never thought I would count myself among, nor did I want to be one of the "divorced". I KNOW there is no other way this can go. I don't like it. I feel like crap about it. Betrayed, angry, control wrestled away from me, I listen to the tiny (but ever-growing) voice in my head that keeps saying, "March, focking march!!" (And yes, my voice does have an Ecuadorian accent.)

Rose, l think you have been given great advise. I can relate to what Woobie said about finding that inner voice. I have finally found mine after years of stuffing it down. Now I listen to it and it helps me be true to myself. Sounds like your's is there too "I've made the right decision," it's just not easy letting go of a future you once thought you had. Big Hugs!!

I wallowed in it for far too long. As matt says, doing something for or just being with others helped. Some of my friends and I get together and either cook or go out to eat once a week. The host/hostess decides what/where/when and lets the rest of us know. I found a church that fits me--after several tries. I go to area sports events and plays, etc. If a friend can't go, I go alone. And, have made new friends there.

That's what I do now. For about two years, I existed. It was a good day if I got out of bed, showered, and brushed my hair. Then, I did three things--

1. Realized that I wasn't hurting him, he had been buying all sorts of toys and seeing several women. He was flattered by my inability to move on.

2. Accepted that the situation wasn't going to change. He wasn't coming back to me--so I could either simply exist the rest of my life or force myself to get on it--a lot of people love me, but they couldn't do it for me.

3. Possibly, most important--began NO CONTACT!! I didn't call him, but waited for his frequent calls--which of course kept me hanging on to hope of reconciliation--the day I blocked his number is the day my healing began. I wish I had done it sooner.

Maybe some of this will help you. I know it's a roller coaster and hard. Good Luck!

I just love JGMeemaw's advice. I love all three of her responses, but I especially love #1. I'm right there. Listen, you will have days like this. I remember thinking to myself that I will be divorced and hating that. But there are lots of divorced people out there. Let's believe that there are better days ahead for us. I know exactly how you feel. Like I said, I could write your posts myself.

I know exactly how you feel. I didn't want my divorce either but my ex's infidelities were too much. I won't live with a man I can't trust.

I also went through the dark days, still do sometimes. Each step of the divorce process brings you to the end and it is very sad.

But my sad days are very few and each day gets better and better. It will for you too.

Be good to yourself today. Hugs!

Thanks to you all it does help knowing that others do understand and I am not alone. Your suggestions are good ones and so is the advise. Thank you all, your support is wonderful. I know I just have to get through this, and when I have my good days enjoy them to the fullest.