Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

13,009 Members
100,360 Posts
1 Online
Relationships & Sexuality
/ Breakups & Divorce Support Group

trying not to cry

copingwith2
copingwith2

I am sitting at my desk at my job trying not to bawl my eyes out.  All I want to do is call him and tell him this stupid bit of information about my day, like we always did.  and I can't because we don't do that anymore.  I never realized how much I could hurt and how much I still feel like I need him.  I do not see the light at the end of this tunnel, I do not see how this can get better.  I miss him more than anything I have ever missed.  this really does suck.

Jamess
Jamess
" I do not see how this can get better." You will heal and get stronger. Accept and let go : don't anaylse, don't fight it, don't try to fix, don't imagine the future, just let go of all the emotions you feeling now.

https://youtu.be/H2Qoo3_B_9A

Read your previous posts and don't really understand why he left. Men can have an affair, but they usually won't leave their family for her, especially if there are kids involved.They usually dump the OW when they get caught.

Your husbands seems to be escaping, he is avoiding something. It's like he realy doesn't want to leave but won't and can't stay either.

He might have started the affair with OW after he left you, as a later part of his ' escape ' plan. If that's the case, then the OW isn't the main reason he left.

Is there something that happened in the relationship that he felt powerless and encapable to fix? Something that made him not feel man enough? A dissapointment of sort?

From your previous posts it seems like he isn't the serial cheater kinda husband : his affair is out of character. And based on what you wrote, he probably was a good husband and father prior to leaving.

It's not the usual affair story. Just thinking out loud, watch the video it will help with the emotions.
sleepless1
sleepless1
I'm so sorry that you are struggling today. I have had days just like that. As recent as Tuesday! But its 2 days later and I feel better today. Expect yourself to have up and down days. What you are going through is extremely painful but you will get through it! It will get better, I promise!
copingwith2
copingwith2
He left before the other woman, we had been having a rough year and a half, but nothing that i thought was so terrible he was leaving for good. He would look me in my eyes and say he still wanted to try for us. You are 100% right that this affair is completely out of character for him, the person he has become is completely out of character for him. He has become a different person, our kids always came first but not now. Every few days i see a glimpse of him in this new person but then it disappears again. I have asked him to seek counselling and he says he will but the more he pushes the kids away the harder it is going to be for him. I wish I knew what was happening with him, i would help but he does not want my help and has been treating me like dirt lately.
Devasted
Devasted
I feel what you are going thru. I didn't see your original post but this has been 8 months and counting for me. My husband hasn't slept here for 3 days now. He says its because of me harping on him about the ow who he denies being with. ( i found their text messages). It's so hard being alone after 30 yrs....i still cry every day.