The end to a marriage is always hard. I’m glad you joined this group to help you with the different emotions you are feeling. If you have close friends and family now is an excellent time , to depend on them. You may even need professional help to keep everything in perspective :)

I feel your pain as my rearionship lost all the trust many years back .. sometimes I think to myself what the issues are and all that is wrong with it and I’m amazed that we are still trying
I really think the hardest part is having to tell my family and having to continue to work together because that’s the only place where we actually get along....
It’s sucks to have someone you love so much disappoint you or continuesly tell you that you need to change the way you are and your looks how messed up is that to hear from his mouth you need to fix your body her plastic surgery get a larger but fix your waist make your arms smaller what is that about he’s no super model and I’m not asking for anything

Oh yeah maybe because all his friends are whores who have had extensive surgery and sleep around !!!! I’m not like that !!!

Once trust is lost it’s really hard to get it back and to me it’s the foundation you sleep with this person you give them your everything you want to make sure you trust them and can count on them during the good and the bad not just when they feel like showing up
We all deserve someone that has our back that we trust unconditionally and that will do anything for us and should not settle for less

Dhonesty and mairbug thank you. You have no idea how much your words helped me. It's not easy connecting with family or friends right now. I only take comfort in being surrounded by my boys. They keep me distracted in playful conversations. Mairbug, I know how you feel. It sounds like you care about him very much. Hopefully, he realizes it before it's too late. Yesterday, I began to cry during a conversation we were having, and had to hang up. Later that night, I felt my heart slip away. I knew I had nothing left to give him. The man that I loved is gone. He's not with me. The truth is I don't know him anymore.

I hope and pray your husband realizes your value, before it's too late.
You deserve happiness. Decades in the futures, looks will not be of consequence. The depth of love and friendship will matter. You're probably out of his league anyways. He just tells you that to cut you down and belittle you. Antics, I have come accustomed to over the years. I'm probably not the best person to speak with right now. My brain is taking over and I'm in the midst of shifting gears.

As selfish as it sounds, I'm giving up on him, because I want to find someone to love me the way I loved him. Someone steadfast, caring, and devoted to me. I want reciprocation. I feel I deserve it. Is that wrong?

I couldnt have said it better mairbug.
To not be able to trust the man you sleep next to?
How messed up that is.

How brave of you to post about this very difficult issue you are facing. Thank you for sharing. I have been in your shoes before and I know how painful of a decision this must be for you. Everything around me was saying "give up" but I thought deeply about the commitment I made during my wedding, and remembered that I could turn to prayer for help. Prayer certainly helped me during my hardest days. And I'm not sure your personal beliefs, but if you're open to it, I think it could help you as you face these circumstances. Please let me know how I can help you. Also, I'm not sure if you've considered seeking therapy but I did and it made my marriage so much better. Just a thought to consider!