Did you have a parenting meeting with a mediator? In my state, mediation is mandatory unless there are no parenting issues. I believe, just my opinion here, that this would qualify as one of the issues that is big enough to warrant mediation, and if that's unsuccessful, a court's decision. It's a big deal to introduce other people to your children. I hope stbx is just trying to be hurtful and would not actually do what he said. And as for why he's being hurtful - you know him best. Even if it's out of character, people can get mean and nasty once in the midst of divorce.

Yea, you need to get the parenting issue addressed pronto so you can totally minimize your need to communicate with him. Who knows what's going on in his head....maybe his own guilt....doesn't matter. For immediate relief from his triggering comments you have to find a way to limit contact to matters involving the kids. Once you have shut down his negative remarks (or most of them), you can begin to heal from this trauma. But think of it this way....if he has unlimited access to you via text, phone, whatever, the pain is only going to continue. It has nothing to do with you. It's what he is doing. I recognize this has to be tough with kids involved. It's for your own sanity. Hang in there. The pain will subside. There truly is a light at the end of the tunnel for you.

Thank you so much for you responses. He just dropped the kids off and was actually somewhat remorseful, almost tearful. This is such a weird place to be. I am not sure if he would introduce my kids to a "friend" so soon.

I think mediation would be great at this point.

I am so looking forward to that light. People have mentioned that each day you get stronger, and I do. I have these terrible moments, but they pass. I have also stopped doing drivebys and texting him. If we could go 24 hours no contact, that would be soooooooo good. I need to heal.

I know exactly where you are coming from. A simple conversation is blown way out. Be strong for your boys, and try your best not to talk to him or allow him to get under skin.

Yes everything is so hostile. So much tension.

The thing that ticks me off is the fact that he obviously has unfinished business, emotional issues, and looking for someone else to fill the void.

People that use other people like that should be shot.

Some innocent person out there is about to get used.

Not nice.

Guess we'll have another forum member when he's done messing with someone else's life.

Truth is you are right. He is so angry about our marriage. I'm hoping time will help us.