Yes. What questions do you have?

Mal66, I see that you are in VA. I'm in DC (we're relatively close). Perhaps we should talk.

Were you supportive of them (if they survived) or leave it to family/close friends? How did you respond?
Interested in hearing others' experiences...

I was supportive in the same way I have been to friends (and even people on this board) who have been suicidal - I told them about the resources I knew about that could help them (suicide hotline, free counseling, etc.) and realized that I couldnt/shouldnt take it all on and be their sole source of comfort.

In other words, I wanted them to know they werent alone, but there were/are resources that they need to utilize in order to get help. Help and support that I, even as a nurse, cannot be the sole provider for.

I hope this helps. xoxo

Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem, it's not always the best way. Situations are always changing and things can always get better just have faith and pray if you have too and you will find your way.

I had a friend in high school commit suicide after getting dumped. People were sad about it for a little while, and then she was forgotten. Her ex is now very happy with someone else and posts photos of the two of them all the time... he never mentions his ex anymore, he moved on with his life.

I myself had a very serious attempt in high school... when people die from suicide you hear others lamenting how they wish they could have helped them, etc. If you survive it will be like you have leprosy, like you are a third class citizen. Your family and friends will be angry at you. Acquaintances will think that you were weak, selfish, etc and will shun you. You will be treated like crap by the doctors and nurses, you will not receive the best care (because I mean, you tried to kill yourself, so while they'll keep you alive they won't keep you keep you on IVs and stuff as long as they should, they'll ship you off to the psych ward as soon as you hit fair condition). If I thought I was in hell before the attempt, surviving the attempt showed me a whole new level.

I would never advise someone to kill themselves over/after a break up. Why? Because it won't get what you're hoping for. Your ex will not be sad that long and it will not stop them from moving on. They may remember you as the "crazy ex" because you did commit/attempted suicide. You will promptly be forgotten. And if somehow it makes your ex all sad and upset and wish they had stayed with you, what good is it? You're dead, you won't know how they feel. If you think there's no chance of getting back together now, death 100% guarantees that outcome unless they're into necrophilia.

I would really suggest calling a hotline. Sometimes they'll offer free in-person crisis counseling.

Oh, and should you survive your attempt, there's no way in hell your ex is going to want you back... it will send them running for the hills.

A good friend told me once. If your going through hell keep going!!!

People contemplate suicide when their level of pain exceeds their resources for dealing with it. You just need someone to teach you these skills. You just can't deal and are crying out for help. Learning any skill or set of skills takes times and consistent practise, but you get better and better the more you do and before you know it, it effortless. This board is ONE very small resource, and if it points you in the right direction to get the assistance you need in real life its done its job. You will get up one day and be free of this. I'm living proof. You will have a good life again.

Please talk to family, friends and counselors. Tell them you feel like you can no longer cope and need guidance.

My STBX used to occasionally say we would all be better off without him, and maybe he should just go kill himself. It made me crazy! When contemplating divorce I mentioned it to my therapist. He suggested to me that it was just a way to hook me into my codependent pattern with him, and that if he should say it again, call him out on it. He said it again, and I did call him out, saying he was just saying that to get attention from me, and that I wasn't buying into it anymore. He never said it again. It was an attention thing with him. Now mind you, he got all kinds of attention from me, and the kids, but he was an extremely unhappy person, and would do nothing about his issues, all of which he was more than capable of changing. But my refusing to buy into his threats anymore forced him to behave in a different way. I was extremely worried about him when I left because of those threats, but he has actually managed on his own. His threats weren't serious.

Don't know if this helps you or not.

@cheryt - did he ever attempt? Would you ever go back with him? I imagine sometimes separation is necessary to purge thru personal issues & release some of the baggage developed (like co-dependency) and to change perspectives..

I was a suicide intervention counselor and what I saw were people that wanted the emotional pain to end, not really their lives.
Helping them find someone that could understand that and help them learn coping skills, got them turned around. They first had to see that it was the emotional pain they wanted stopped, not their very lives.
As some here have said, in due time, a person that suicides is soon forgotten or remembered in disdain....

Hey read my novel. What a living hell can be like with a wife who attempts fails and the hellish aftermath

Mal: no he never did. He owns many long guns, so I was really worried he would. I went to school with a boy he shot himself in the head with a shotgun, so the thought did cross my mind. Honestly though, he was too arrogant to ever really do that. It was an attention thing for him. I tried to get him to go to therapy so many times. So I believe that if he truly had feelings of wanting to harm himself, he would have taken me up on the therapy. It was really just an attention thing. And like I said, when I called him on it he never said it again.

Ultimately it is their call. They have to want to get help for themselves. I would have felt horrible if he had done it, but I also know that I could only do so much, and that I couldn't stay with him out of pity. Lucky for me, he seems to be adjusting OK to living on his own. He has lots of friends, so I'm sure that helps.

@Mrstrength - where's your novel?

@chert - it's good he has friends for support & an outlet..would you consider giving him another chance?