Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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ginaburtonn 11/11/2016

Hey guys! new here! i am currently living with my boyfriend. We have been together on and off 6 years. we have lived together for 1 year. When we started living together everything was fine but after the year of living together i noticed he was an abusive (verbal and physical) person for his own gain. our lease is up and i plan on leaving but he recently got sick and his back has completey given out on him.Today, he just really upset me by telling me that 'i dont care", even though i work 3 jobs, raise my son, take care of the house and him. He recently lost his job so he sits at home all day recovering. I want to leave asap but guilt is coming over due to his back issue. would it be selfish of me to leave now since i have not been happy for some time now?

trueblue 11/11/2016

It's time to pack your bags and get out of there. Why waste another month, week, or day of your life?

ginaburtonn 11/11/2016

Thank you! I figured! He's trying to tell me this is how relationships work and that people fight yada yada

MontgomeryDad 11/11/2016

Completely understand the guilt but trueblue is right, you need to get out as soon as you can, for you and your son. Best of luck. The support here is wonderful, for what it's worth.

drgnlvr 11/11/2016

I also can understand your concerns about his health but I also agree that you need to exit for you and your son. Some quarrels in a relationship can be expected as is normal but you can have an argument yet still be civil. There is nothing civil about the fighting you mentioned let alone any abuse, mental, verbal, or physical.
With all the stuff you said you do and sits on his keester? Also not cool. On personal note I have L1,2,3,4,5 and S1 messed up, severe fibromyalgia, and a mix of other issues, BUT I deal with it. Cook, clean, laundry, mow the lawn etcetera and I don't whine or sitting on my butt.
He doesn't deserve you. Get your bags and good luck to you

ginaburtonn 11/12/2016

Thanks you guys! It's been a tough one but I finally told him it's done and I will be moving in with my aunt To help save some money to buy myself a house. It's been one of my goals. He's trying to convince me to stay but like I told him, i just can't give up my happiness anymore to make his life easier.

pinkpop1 11/12/2016

Leave NOW before it becomes a 25 year abusive marriage that you cant leave because you lost all self esteem and worth... Trust me they are good at trying to make you feel guilty, pros actually... Take care of yourself and your son, that should be your one and only priority.

SassyGrace 11/12/2016

I had to end a relationship with someone that I too had been living with for a year.

It seems that at soon as moved in, I began noticing more emotional and verbal abuse. He was never physically abusive, but the other abuse and controlling behaviors were just increasing the longer I stayed.

I had to leave. I know I did the right thing.

You must do whats healthy for yourself.

Hugs!

ginaburtonn 11/12/2016

Thank you sassy! I am going to start packing today. I just know it's time to go. I need to worry about myself and son and not focus on him.

jaynib 11/12/2016

Sounds like you are on the right track. Take care of yourself first and foremost. A man who abuses you does not truly love or respect you. And of course he'd lay on the guilt - they don't want to lose their good thing. But his problems are his problem. You want a man to stand on his own two feet, not use you as a crutch. Maybe he can get his act together and get some counseling then maybe you could discuss reconciliation once he's left those destructive patterns. Until then, steer clear of someone like that. Sounds like you have support around you - what a blessing!

11Christmases 11/13/2016

I agree with the others...don't let him guilt you into staying. There was at least one other user on here who had the same issue a couple of years ago...was about to leave and then something medical happened to her STBX. I wonder sometimes if these men can sense that you're getting distant and planning your exit. so they then create a crisis to guilt you into staying.

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