Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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Torn

sjr1977
sjr1977

In the last 48 hours I've felt sad, frustrated, pity, relieved, lonely, and weak. Right now I feel lonely, sad, and weak. I know I should follow through with the divorce I filed, but I am doubting that I will be strong enough to do it. Not because I won't be financially capable without him. Not because I won't get custody of the kids. But because I pity him. And it is lonely. But I was miserable during our last few years together. Verbal abuse really zaps you of your strength. 

Dragonflywishes
Dragonflywishes
Yes it does...but I know you have more strength than you realize. How I am starting to rebuild myself...I have started to hiking in the mountains on the weekends. It is an adventure...I am never exactly sure where I am going because I have never been there. Then when I do get there, it reminds me how beautiful and peaceful the earth is. It is scary to do things alone, but that was my choice in filing. Each time I do something alone, I find more strength. Find something small you can do that reminds you of how strong you are. When you are strong enough, you will open yourself back up to the possibilities and they will find you. Good luck.
sjr1977
sjr1977
Thank you
mirandac
mirandac
Have you tried alanon? if there are addiction
Issues that helps a lot plus therapy. I went for
Two years before the separation it helped me
In so many ways, HUGS
bakerjackie321
bakerjackie321
You pity him because of two reasons. 1. He manipulates you into it. He knows exactly which buttons to push to get to you. Does he say things like I will never have anyone else or I just give up? 2. You feel responsible for his life. You are not responsible for his happiness and you don't have to sacrifice yours. I have found that in these situations most couples are very compatible on their thoughts or whose the important one and needs to come first.
trisha9054
trisha9054
Pity can only go so far and you do know that. Make a list of all the things he's done that you hate. Put it where the kids won't see it and every time you pity him dig out your list.

There were several biggies on my list. I would no longer have the bottom of the fridge full of beer. I would no longer have two cases of beer under his side of the bed. There are many more I could list but that was the major one I hated.

Also a pro and con list would work just as well. I bet the cons will outweigh the pros to being married. Try to find a Divorce Care group at one of your local churches. The work book is not very expensive and you can go thru the sessions as many times as you want. You can start at any session because they are stand alone. Not dependent on the one before or the one after. I found D C very helpful and went thru their sessions several times because I was in a different stage of divorcing.