Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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Too late to be angry?

soulmistress
soulmistress
It's been almost a year..we've managed to stay in contact for quite sometime..he has a new girl..and I tried to be happy for him..unfortunately we had an affair..and just a week ago..the guilty bug got him..I had to do my part and step back...I still love him but I no longer trust him..we fought about something that happened a year back and we managed to be okay after that for months but no longer in a relationship...

And now I'm so angry..I've never been this angry before..I wanted to kill him..I felt so used and lied to..it used to be that I never saw him at fault..but now..I hate him..I so hate him...I knew I wanted us to be together and I wanted to let go because I knew he needed to take a chance with this new girl..I've always wanted to be happy for him..but my anger is just bursting out and I wanted to hurt him..hurt him over and over again...until he feels the pain and I wish him no longer to be okay..I wish he died like I did for the past couple of months, my life crashed and I felt like I died...I hate him for making me feel and suffer the guilt and kept me hanging for such a long time...

I regret falling inlove..everyone said I shouldn't..but this anger I feel..if he was infront of me I can really hurt him..and the crazy part of this is..I feel so good and not regretting being angry with him..I can't tell if I've forgiven him...I don't know if I will forgive him..this anger feels like it will stay for a long long time...

....is this normal??
deleted_user
deleted_user
You must vent that anger full force *without physical harm* It took me a year to hit my anger stage...it happened here via trigger. Once you vent, you will take the next step and allow to accept. Godspeed.
deleted_user
deleted_user
my ex used to tell me that he was scared of the day I would get angry....good thing we were already divorced when it surfaced....good thing.
deleted_user
deleted_user
The anger is part of the healing process.

Vent away here. Call him every name in the book...whatever you need to get out. You have to express it to get through it, and it's safe to do that here.

I'll help you start....


LYING PIECE OF DOG POO!!

Trust me, this really does help. I know it seems like I'm joking, but I'm 100% serious.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Yes it's normal. You are allowed to be angry about the way he's treated you, or the way it's worked out. Everyone keeps telling me that it's good to get angry, and I believe them. Honestly, I'd rather be angry than still sitting here crying and wishing he would come back to me. Today is the first day I've been more angry than sad.
soulmistress
soulmistress
Thanks Everyone..I have to admit I felt better..a couple of days ago I was gettin annoyed but never really allowed myself to be angry...until this evening when I cried so hard and the feeling of anger just came out..I punched my pillow a million times and just screamed like I never did before..I wanted to throw away everything that reminds me of him..I know I'd be angry for quite sometime...I have always wondered before why I never felt angry with him..yes, the new girl triggered it...and not because she did anything bad..but the fact knowing that it came to this...and it all started making sense..and now all I feel is anger...I'm glad I am angry..for I know I am alive and moving forward...

Thank you for your messages...I really appreciate it...
deleted_user
deleted_user
Never too late to be angry!! :)
Let it all out...Be mad..then you can move on and find the greater things that await for you!
Peace my friend..hang in there.
deleted_user
deleted_user
way to go gaelyn! loved the reply.

yes, vent away. it's he first step!
deleted_user
deleted_user
oops! i meant "first" step!
deleted_user
deleted_user
i am a believer in no contact. i wonder if there was no contact between you two over the past year would this have happened. look how angry you are, it's wasted energy and wasted feelings on him. concentrate on you, your worth it. why did you have an affair when you knew he was with someone else? sounds like your very angry with yourself too. but, hey, people make mistakes, learn from them, grow and move on. redirect your energy into something that is positive for you and your life, but i would certainly cut off all contact with him. sounds like he was having his cake and eating it too. xoxoxoxox
deleted_user
deleted_user
It's never too late to be angry. I knew once I started getting angry that I was healing. I was just numb at first but once I started to show emotion I felt better. Get it out!!
deleted_user
deleted_user
Nothing ever good comes from a three person relationship! I also question why you would be involved with him if you knew that he was involved with someone else?

Getting angry is very normal at the end of every relationship... forgiveness? It will come when you realize that being angry is a wasted emotion... what good is it really doing except taking away the pain, when the pain ends, then the anger will also end and you will reach the needed forgiveness, however, don't let the forgivness take you back to him!

Good luck in your new life!