Having been on the side getting told she was moving out, I can say it is likely this will be harder on him. Is there nothing else that can be tried?

Praying for you and your family.

I understand how the anxiety and fear can cause physical symptoms. Would it help to have someone there with you when you tell him to move out?

Hmmm. If you think he may get violent then I would say go somewhere that has other people around but you can still speak privately. If he isn't a violent person, then it may be better to discuss it at home. Good luck. Praying for you.

Unfortunately we have tried everything I think. He takes no ownership of anything he has done wrong and then he says whatever he wants however he wants to me and that is supposed to be ok because he said "i feel" first. I know he is going to take it hard which is why I have procrastinated so long. I have been more worried about how he is going to feel and what he is going to do after rather than what this will do to me and my kids too.

I dont know if having someone there would be better or worse honestly.

I can not say whether he will get violent or not. He has been verbally and psychologically abusive for most of our relationship but only once was he violent toward me, normally he will break objects around him.

I know this is the right thing. I just cant think of how to even start the conversation about it.

Lostinthecycle

I feel like I am going through a similar thing to you LOST...
You say it was verbal and psychological mostly. That is me.... even the other day just because I couldn't find him on our go train he texted me so many horrible things like, idiot, bitch, lazy, retard, some kind of stupid, blind, fuc*en annoying, said he f*en hated me, that we are done and its his fault anyways because he married me....

This is one little insignificant incident in our life and this is how he reacted because I couldn't find him so I just sat by myself. He has been "physical" 3 times slapping me, not punching or bruises left, only a red mark for a short time...

You say you procrastinated long enough, is this because he promised to change and there were "good moments" in your life with him?

How old are your kids? Mine daughter is 26 months currently. I have been debating leaving him before she was even born but I still stay.... Do you wish you left much earlier? Does my situation sound like yours? I am just trying to decide whether to go or stay and its so difficult. I don't want my daughter to hate me for taking her away from her dad but if I do it I need to do it before she is to old to be affected by this.....

Sorry for the long post but I am just trying to get my head on straight and make a decision one way or the other.

Thank you~

Are you married? Just be prepared. You can ask him to move out, but in most states he legally doesn't have to, and in many cases it's directly against his interests to do so.

Have you seen a lawyer?

JustJenny I am going to private message you shortly.

Patti22, I will double check with a lawyer for sure as I am in Canada. We are married but do not own the house as I rented it when I kicked him out the first time last year.

I can't say whether it's a good decision or not, but it's very good that you finally made an decision. Nobody will tell you whether it's a good one or not, but what I admire is that you follow your gut and you made an decision, that many women have been unable to make for decades and they still live their lives with husbands that they hate, frustrated and with not perspectives, closed in the cage. I wish you good luck in the new path that you are going to take in life and when you do, don't ever look back and don't let the past haunt you. Be firm in the decision you make and make your life as desirable for yourself as you can.

So I did tell him he had to leave yesterday. It went the same as every other time I have tried to leave except this time I left the house when all was said and done until I knew he was out of the house. I was honest in why I was leaving, He acted completely shocked and I spent 6 hours of him begging me to just talk to him. To stay together broken heart and all and let him fix it. The only 1 reason that he seemed to hold on to and refer back to was our communication and he is so sure that if I had actually tried talking to him that we wouldn't be splitting up. When his tears and his begging and all in between didnt work he went to the extreme telling me he will only be able to be a skype dad and that his whole life is ruined and that I have everything now and him nothing......I knew the aftermath would be hard but less than 24 hours I am a bag of mixed emotions and feel terrible for hurting him despite everything.