Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I got a txt message from my ex last night saying he'd like to come by and talk about what's going to happen with our house. I haven't seen him in over a week. We've been both living in the house, but he has a single friend nearby so I'm assuming he has been there.
The last time we spoke (a week and a half ago) I told him I wasn't going to leave the house. I had just found out that he was planning on reuniting with his ex-wife. From the beginning of my relationship with E, this woman has tried to sabotage us. She lured him into cheating on me with her in the early days of our relationship, something I didn't find out about until we had been together for 5 years. She tried several other times over the years to get him to do it again. She has treated me badly in front of her children at times when I was going out of my way to be helpful. She destroyed her marriage to E by cheating on him with one of his brother's and then with many other men over the years.
So when I found out that he was on the phone with her arranging a hookup within a few weeks of us splitting up, my brain exploded. And I told him that I wouldn't give him the house. He huffed and puffed and left the conversation saying that he would have to look into it, whatever that means. Our house is worth less than what we bought it for. If we sell it, unless we sell by owner, we will end up having to come up with money to pay the realtor commission. I'm not going to put it up for sale by owner because I want it. He won't put it up by owner because he doesn't have the skill set to figure out how to do that and I would have to sign the sale too, which I'm not going to do.
So today is going to be rough. Even though I am insulted that he would go back to such a piece of @#%^ ex-wife, I feel bad for him that he is so pathetic and weak. But I cannot wrap my head around the possibility that she might live in my house if I left it to him. I've spent the last 7 years owning this house and all of my future plans for it have kept me going in a relationship that was far less than ideal.
The last time we spoke (a week and a half ago) I told him I wasn't going to leave the house. I had just found out that he was planning on reuniting with his ex-wife. From the beginning of my relationship with E, this woman has tried to sabotage us. She lured him into cheating on me with her in the early days of our relationship, something I didn't find out about until we had been together for 5 years. She tried several other times over the years to get him to do it again. She has treated me badly in front of her children at times when I was going out of my way to be helpful. She destroyed her marriage to E by cheating on him with one of his brother's and then with many other men over the years.
So when I found out that he was on the phone with her arranging a hookup within a few weeks of us splitting up, my brain exploded. And I told him that I wouldn't give him the house. He huffed and puffed and left the conversation saying that he would have to look into it, whatever that means. Our house is worth less than what we bought it for. If we sell it, unless we sell by owner, we will end up having to come up with money to pay the realtor commission. I'm not going to put it up for sale by owner because I want it. He won't put it up by owner because he doesn't have the skill set to figure out how to do that and I would have to sign the sale too, which I'm not going to do.
So today is going to be rough. Even though I am insulted that he would go back to such a piece of @#%^ ex-wife, I feel bad for him that he is so pathetic and weak. But I cannot wrap my head around the possibility that she might live in my house if I left it to him. I've spent the last 7 years owning this house and all of my future plans for it have kept me going in a relationship that was far less than ideal.
I too was able to stay in the marital home, but I had to buy my ex out of it. Legally we had both lived there and it was his house too. So in our settlement, for example, he got to keep the retirement funds in exchange for giving me the house. It's worth fighting for if it is important to you, but make sure you know what the legal process entails.
Good luck today, I hope everything goes smoothly!
I I don't know where you are so I don't know what the law says there I have to say that buying him out would cost you more than his share of the house is worth in my country if the value has gone down since you bought it.
I hate to say it but perhaps you have to walk away from this one. I am very sorry if this hurts to do.