Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I know the end of this relationship is what is best for me. But he's letting it end without any kind of fight. I know this is who he is but it still hurts sooo much. I was told that I have to take care of me and I am . I know that I postponed this for so long because of the pain it would cause me. He's got many many girlfriends, has spent our entire marriage cheating and Im still hurt by all this, when I should just be running the other way and not looking back. Today i'm feeling stupid sad and lonely!!! I hate this :(
Let's up the ante, would you want someone who smacked you around like a chew toy to fight for you to be in their life again? This is precisely what he did, only on an emotional level.
The reality is, he's doing you a favor by -not- fighting, and dragging you through his bullshit again.
He's not fighting becuase he left a long time ago...
Be gentle with yourself
May I ask how long you have been married??? Don't feel obligated to answer if you don't want to.
it is now just going thru the motions. he drug you thru the slim and the mud with his affairs on an emotional level. and he showed his true character.
do not define yourself by him! Give yourself much time and healing space, fine the real you and then start with the definitions.
I went thru the same thing. and he had me beat down to a pulp. I did not know me any more. I am not far down the road compared to many here but believe you me, I am so much stronger today. the 'old me' is coming back. and the same will happen with you. there really IS hope.
I would have told anyone a few months ago that never would I care about my husband if he cheated,..I would have thrown him out on his ear...
he is doing that now (cheating) and that is not the way I reacted. I went into fetal position and I still love him after a week and 1/2 of him being with this other person (for lack of a better term).
I have seen a few glimmers of anger but then I slide right back into despair and sorrow and missing him. Who am I... not who I thought reacting not how I thought.
So that is the biggest lesson I learned you will never know how you will react to lifes biggest challenges until you are there.
Hang in there... I think he being gone is best esp if it was a recurring pattern. You will get stronger... that's what they tell me ...
Thank you for all the kind words. I need them. I'm having a better day today and have been sticking to my guns. He's been reacting horribly, he's not used to me sticking to my word. I usually cave at this point. I get really annoyed that he's angry, after all this is his fault, but that's another issue that I have. I've been working on that too.
I'm trying to remember that I did this for a change...and if he does't or won't that's ok (so they tell me) but I NEED TO!!!
I'm back in school. That helps a lot. Keeps me busy, reminds me that I'm smart and is helping with a light at the end of the tunnel!!
Next, is back to the gym regularly...all things in time :)
That is a long time to be married while putting up with cheating.
The end is really what's best for you, so I guess in the long run it is better if he doesn't fight. You deserve so much better than a man who cheats during his whole marriage and has lots of girlfriends.
You can and will find someone who will love you like you deserve to be loved. Please try and look to all the possibilities for your future instead of looking in the past. Things will get better.
You need to take good care of yourself and treat yourself to things you like to do or places you like to go and keep your focus on you.
Things will get better, and in the long run, you will not be sorry you got rid of this selfish husband.
Good luck.
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