Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Hubby of 11 yrs, emotional affair of over a year with so called "friend",strong feelings for other female. He cut off communication with her cause he said he wants to work in our marriage and he can't leave the kids but can't stop thinking about her. We get along great, we talk, we joke, we spent time together but their is no emotion, no affection from his part, is like hanging out with a best friend. We are going out of state this weekend as a family before he leaves with the Army for a year and he seems really excited about it. I'm taking advantage of every minute that I have cause I don't know what's going to happen in that year that he is going to be gone. Sometimes I'm so tired and ready to quit and walk away but then we have a good time and I'm so happy just by spending time together that my strenght and resolution to leave just banishes in thin air. It's tough to be next to him having a good time but not seeing a loving gaze or love in his eyes.
Here is my question to you - are you in need of another relationship?
If the answer is no, then I would not break up the family.
I could not live side by side with my husband, even though he did everything to make it up to me, because he actually had unprotected intercourse with men. After 6 months I still was crying every day, so I just could not handle the living arrangements.
So, if you do leave him the pros are:
1. You can start another relationship
2. You might feel better living alone
The cons:
1. Devastation of the children - problems at home, problems in school
2. Financial struggle
3. if you do have another relationship, it may not work because the children are too upset to accept a new person in their life
4. The family on both side may not take the break up well either
the list goes on, and on and on...
i am in another relationship because i just can't have casual sex and for the last 7 years of my marriage I was unloved, I slept alone and I am just starving for a little affection, to be honest with you. I haven't had a normal relationship since I was 26 and I am 35 now, almost 36.
I know your situation is complicated, but you both should sit down and talk about this again...maybe make a new commitment of sorts if you both want to do this for the children and can remain a team and attempt to rekindle your love.
I am completely against divorce because I see what is doing to my daughter, how she cries every night. sometimes there is no other option, but if there is a possible chance you can avoid traumatizing the kids I say give it your best shot, but both of you have to try.
Good luck!!!!