I encourage you think about "Moving Forward" rather than contemplating the things that are behind you. Moving back to Florida is a great opportunity for you. Why have a yard sale? Take what you need/want, maybe store some other stuff with a friend, quit your lousy job and GO! Let your cheating spouse pick up all the pieces. If you absolutely have to, find an estate sale/liquidation company to handle it for you. You walk away, they sell what they can and donate what they can't, and split the proceeds with you. And it's DONE.

First; no need to say you’re sorry. I have been trying to say that less and it feels pretty good. This is why we are here. Support and also, acceptance. Moving sounds like the best option. Fresh start and with family/friends there it’s a trifecta. Ps don’t look back. We can’t affect the past. Leave it alone and teach yourself every day not to dwell on it. Just be yourself in this moment and you will be ok.

It seems you are doing the right thing to move to Florida, where you have friends and family to help you get thru this transition. This is a very difficult phase in anyone’s life and you can definitely benefit from having the support of people that love you and care for you.
I have gone thru my divorce and have not had too many friends or family that “care” enough ... but I would like to think that they simply don’t understand. So, I can totally relate to that feeling of loneliness. Things will get better for you but it will take time... it’s natural to cry, to feel down one day and up the next. Eventually you will start having better days.
Wish you the best in this difficult transition in you life. Stay strong!

i say go for it girl! get down there and be with your babies in the sun. ill come and pack your bags for you! good luck sweetheart my heart goes out to you..

a question for finallyawakenow.. u say don't dwell on the past. i agree with this and am trying to detach from whats in the past. but.. i find myself struggling with this. i feel like, i should hold onto it. if i don't, i might just find myself right back there. with all the hate and pain we have gone through in the past three years... if i let it all go, wouldn't that mean accepting everything that damaged and destroyed us, and myself as an individual? if i let it go, would that mean allowing it to have been done to me? does that count as just giving another chance when i have run out of any hope? and how many chances is enough?

I gave my stuff to Goodwill. If you don't have the money to buy again, take the expensive items, appliances. Otherwise, give it all away. Not worth it. Buying new stuff will be exciting and it will be the stuff you want.

I’m so sorry your heart is hurting. :’( My husband left me and filed for divorce when our two boys were very young. It was very painful!! I went to a class called DivorceCare where I met other women just like me and I was given the tools I desperately needed to start healing. I no longer felt so alone. Have you ever heard of it? It’s offered nationwide so I encourage you to find a class once you are in Florida. :) I teach a class on decluttering your home and your heart also. It’s based on the book by Marie Kondo. If it doesn’t bring you joy, let it go so it can bring someone else joy. <3 I will be praying for you this week. Big hug from one survivor from another.

@pleasedoodle; good points. I struggled for a decade after her long affair. I kept waiting for time to ‘heal all wounds’. But it didn’t. Some days it felt like day one. I finally realized that it was me keeping (maybe obsessing) the memories alive and that’s what was holding me back. It’s when I made the very conscious choice to stop replaying that past movie in my mind that I was free. For a little while I actually felt a little empty without the heartache. Weird. So I filled that void with healthy living and exercise. Before I knew it, I felt my self confidence returning. And the past evaporated. That’s what I meant by not dwelling in the past. Although I was able to accomplish this years later. I understand that when the hurts are fresher the process will be harder/longer. Bests.

Ps. I reported above spam and ds said that they banned user name. Surprised to see the comment wasn’t erased though.

@pleasedoodle again. Not sure if you’ll get this but I just reread your questions. I have been doing ALOT of work and reflection on my past. There are many things that I wish I had no memory of. But I do. I don’t believe they are ever gone from us. Good and bad they are a part of us. However calling the past (our memory) up is a choice that we make every time we decide to think about something that we felt. I am finding that by accepting that there are hurts but not bringing them up as much is like breaking a bad habit. I don’t want to live in the past anymore. But I’m not ignoring it either. There are definitely lessons to be learned. And when I am feeling like I am in a safe place in my emotions I can gently take out a past memory to look at it. Not dwell on it. And accepting the past doesn’t mean you approve of what happened. Just lays the ground work for moving past it. I hope this helps a little. I really know how much a painful past can be. And how destructive it can feel. I do believe we have the ability to let it go however. By putting more effort into living in the moment, the shadows behind us fade.