Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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to be loved and wanted

rose77
rose77
I'm just thinking that we just all want to be loved and wanted. That might be why it's so hard when we get divorced its someone saying to us you are no longer wanted. That is what it felt like to me even though it was my choice to end it. I could no longer take it anymore the lying and deceit. But I truly believe he once loved me so I kept going for way to long because like I said we all just want to believe we are loved and wanted.
lostsoul72
lostsoul72
I feel your right on some aspects, but we cannot force anyone to love us. The other mistake people make in relationships is to give all there love to someone that gives nothing back. I have lived and seen to many relationships were one person puts everything into it and the other just keeps taking advantage of it and sucks the life from them.

I don't condone selfishness, but in a relationship if your needs are not being met then that relationship is not for you. So many people suffer so they don't have to be alone.

Big Hugs and Welcome to the group.
11Christmases
11Christmases
I agree with you both.
gem111
gem111
I believe in some cases some people honestly don't have a clue what love is.
My husband grew up with parents who ONLY cared about physically and mentally fighting with each other. This time it is the Mom beating up the Dad. There was also alcohol involved. When he was 10 his mother had her little princess, which was all she wanted as she really did hate men. He really had a horrible childhood with no love shown to him by his parents at all.
yougospam
yougospam
Being loved and giving love back is one of the necessities of life, in my humble opinion. Yes we have that with our children, families and friends but it's different. So many of us hold onto unhealthy people because we love them so much and expect them to love us back, after all they married us, they did love us at one time. But it takes two to make it work and some people are selfish and make choices that no longer include their partners. Or in my case, my ex didn't need anyone and can't deal with the challenges of life so he walked, that is much easier than staying and fighting for a relationship.

When one partner gives up or walks away or chooses someone else, there is not a darn thing we can do and it is crushing. I could still have a relationship with my ex BUT I no longer want to be in a one sided relationship, looking back I NOW know that I was the only one trying, that is not healthy. Looking back I see how needy and pathetic I became trying to hold onto someone who didn't want or need me anymore. At lease I tried, I have no regrets about that.

So yes, I want to love but more importantly I want to be loved as much as I love them.

Welcome to our group, I hope you find peace and healing here as I have and still continue to receive on a daily basis. Hugs!
clearskye
clearskye
great topic... I struggle with this so deeply... when my ex left me for the ow I not only felt unwanted, but also unlovable. I had wrapped all of my self worth into how my husband felt about me... and he didn't want me anymore...it was devastating and when I think about it or dwell on him choosing her over me it hurts like it was yesterday... and it was 7 years ago!!!! for the most part I've built up my self esteem but I definitely have issues now trusting that I can be desired and loved... I'm dating a sweet guy but can't let my guard down... it's crazy how one person not wanting me... one person deciding I'm not worthy of his love can leave me questioning my worthiness of anyone's love for years.... yes... well said... I just to believe I am wanted and loved...