Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Tomorrow marks 1 month that my bf broke up with me. For approximately two weeks I was what I call 'blissfully numb'. I wasn't crying, wasn't really feeling anything, just NUMB. Then my subconscious found it necessary to shake things up. I had a dream about my ex, where he was telling me all the things he thought went wrong in our relationship. I woke up crying, my chest was hurting like I could feel my heart being ripped up all over again. Since that dream, I've been crying nearly every day again.
The worst part about all of that was that I had to pretend that I was fine. My parents were already hovering over me day and night since the breakup. Bless their hearts, I know that's their way of showing they care, but they are driving me nuts. At work my colleague is trying to be extra cheerful and doesn't want to see me sad. I understand why they do all that, but for me it is EXHAUSTING to keep up appearances that I'm fine. If I show sadness they'll just want to talk about it, which is the last thing I want to do.
The only moments i have to really grieve, or feel whatever it is I want to feel is right before bed. By then i'm so exhausted that I can't process it and it just keeps building up inside me like a time bomb.
I'm just so very tired of it all. It's these moments when I wish I still had my own place. I do not know how in the world I'll be able to get over a love so deep. The emptiness I feel is tremendous. He's still the one I want to tell everything to. But I am very strict with myself and have kept up NC. If anybody has tips on how to deal with the sadness around other people, it would be greatly appreciated.
The worst part about all of that was that I had to pretend that I was fine. My parents were already hovering over me day and night since the breakup. Bless their hearts, I know that's their way of showing they care, but they are driving me nuts. At work my colleague is trying to be extra cheerful and doesn't want to see me sad. I understand why they do all that, but for me it is EXHAUSTING to keep up appearances that I'm fine. If I show sadness they'll just want to talk about it, which is the last thing I want to do.
The only moments i have to really grieve, or feel whatever it is I want to feel is right before bed. By then i'm so exhausted that I can't process it and it just keeps building up inside me like a time bomb.
I'm just so very tired of it all. It's these moments when I wish I still had my own place. I do not know how in the world I'll be able to get over a love so deep. The emptiness I feel is tremendous. He's still the one I want to tell everything to. But I am very strict with myself and have kept up NC. If anybody has tips on how to deal with the sadness around other people, it would be greatly appreciated.
I find writing in a journal really helpful. Gets the feelings out, and you can go back and re-read what you write and see the progress you've made. Also, are you talking to anyone? Counseling can be a huge help.
I had one particular breakup that was devastating, and I dreamed about the guy nearly every night for months. It was horrible. I don't know how to tell you to stop, but I can tell you that it eventually went away. A book I found really helpful was "How to Fall Out of Love". It gives some cognitive behavior activities to derail the thoughts of your ex. Another book that may be helpful to you is, "Getting Past Your Breakup".
Putting on the face that everything is ok IS exhausting. Friends and family hurt when we hurt. Don't worry about them, worry about you. If you don't want to talk about it, it is ok to say you don't want to, but don't hold it in either. Maybe try and take some long walks or bubble baths, or what ever it is you can do that won't be invaded by another person. Something where you can get privacy and alone time. It is ok to tell your friends and family that you love them and appreciate that they are there for you, but you really need some time to yourself to process and grieve.
Gentle hugs.
Allow yourself to hurt and cry
Be in a safe place that allows you to be as you feel
Hugs to you and sorry for your pain...I know all too well