Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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ALD13072 09/26/2013

Seems like all I do is count down the hours until I can go to bed. I wake up each morning and start counting down the waking hours that I have to get through. I am letting my life just slip by, but I just don't have the modivation to do anything. If it wasn't for my dogs (who I love dearly) I would never even leave the house. I work from home and if it wasn't for my therapist I see once a week I would have zero human contact. It takes all the energy and courage I have to go to the grocery store. I want to go shopping for some new things for my house or maybe even go to a movie but I just can't get the motivation to leave. I don't even remember the last time I put gas in my car, as it is a miracle if I get out once a week and I never venture far.

I use to be so full of life...and now I am having a hard time just taking a shower, getting dressed and just breathing. I don't want him to take another minute of my life but I just can't find the strength to start living life for me. Every night I sit down and make a list of three things I want to accomplish the next day, always telling myself that tomorrow is the first day of the rest of my life but I never accomplish any of those things.

I just want to start living again...

deleted_user 09/26/2013

I'm so sorry. I think we've all had those days at one time or another. I really like your habit of writing down three things you are going to accomplish the next day. I never thought of doing something like that. You have your dogs to keep you going and I can literally say that my two cats are the only reason I'm still here today.

Sending good thought your way :)

deleted_user 09/27/2013

I too hope you are feeling better, and you will eventually day by day. You may not notice it initially, but in time it will be more apparent. Divorce is a most devastating, life-altering event. You have to learn to de-attach yourself from someone that at one time you loved dearly, and learn to put that in the past. You will learn that you are a good person, and that you will be happy again. You will re-invent yourself. There is nno quick fix for the mourning, grievinng, and temporary depression that comes with this time in your life. But know this, the sun will shine for you again, annd you will be happy. Good luck! Spiritreader

jackiejolie 09/27/2013

I'm so sorry you are feeling so low today. I'm also trying to find the motivation to get on with my life, but it seems there's always something that happens to make you lose hope again.

I hope for all of us it gets easier because we deserve to be happy and live full lives, instead of letting it go to waste.

I know it not a cure but I like to line up a few of my favourite movies and get cosied up to watch them. I would prefer not to be alone for this but hey, least there's nobody around that can hurt me.

deleted_user 09/27/2013

I have become recluse too. I think it is due to depression about my impending breakup. I realize that I just can't bury my feelings act move on at this point. We all need time to grieve and mourn the death of a relationship. In time, both of us will be okay. Hang on to that thought. ((Hugs)))

ChiTownBear 09/27/2013

I know that feeling or lack of. I am sorry you are going through this. Do you have any friends that you talk to? That will get you out of the house for maybe a dinner or maybe they will come by? Or, do you not care to even do that?

My only advice at this time is to continue to work through what you are dealing with. When you get a notion to go outside, don't even think about whether you should or not, just go. I am sure as time goes by, you may start to feeling better and wanting to get out and do things, but until then, continue to make a conscious effort to want to and do.

ALD13072 09/27/2013

Thank you all for you support.

ChiTown - that is one of the hardest things is that I moved to a town a few years ago for my STBX job. I don't have a single friend here. I know no one. The only people I interacted with was my STBX co-workers and since I have worked from home for years I never met any local people. I am very lonely. My family is trying to be supportive but they live hours away. All my friends and co-workers live on the East Coast and I am in Texas.

Today has been really bad. So bad that I took off work early just so I could sleep. At least I am not thinking about things when I am asleep. I just can't imagine ever being happy again.

ChiTownBear 09/27/2013

man, I know how that can be. I moved half way across the country to the East Coast with my ex. We moved there to be closer to her folks and friends. They were my family and friends, until she cheated and left. I knew people at work at least, but no real friends I could hang with even tho a few did try to get me out and about or came over. So I know how hard it can be. What I did a lot was go for long rides with my pooch. We would go to the Ocean or Mountains, etc. I know most of Texas is desert like conditions, unless you live far south, but depending on where you live, there may be things you can go see and take your pups with you. Or just get out and go for a long drive whether north , south , east or west. I did that many times as well. Sometimes, it helps just to get out and get some fresh air in your face.

BlueKnight69 09/27/2013

I am so sorry you feel like this. I get it though. If I didn't have to drive to work, I may not leave the house much either.
At least you are making lists. Don't stop. Don't stop dreaming and reaching for better.
I still have days when all I do is sleep and lay around. I still haven't showered today or changed out of what I wore to bed. I am not beating myself up about it because sometimes, I need these days of no responsibility and no care.
I know you can't imagine ever feeling better but all it takes is a single moment in time. A single second in which you laugh or smile...that moment will help turn it all around.
If you work from home, why not consider moving back east to friends and family? I have considered moving. Most of my family is here even though my good friends are scattered.
Keep finding things to give yourself something to look forward to.

I know it is hard but we are here for you to help ease the burden and perhaps help you to eventually drop it and leave it behind on this path you are on.

Take care sending you warm hugs :)

ALD13072 09/27/2013

Unfortunately less than 2 weeks ago I signed a lease on my new house....so pretty much stuck here for a year. But I have already been thinking to the future and possibly moving closer to my family or back to the East Coast for work.

I am getting my hair cut tomorrow, so looking forward to that. Thinking about trimming my 3 goals a day down to 1 for a while as most days I just feel overwhelmed. And keep in mind these are not big goals, just stuff like walk the dogs and buy groceries.

Not sure how I would get through this without you all, my goal is to one day find peace and happiness and be able to help others.

murphytoronto 09/27/2013

Can you break the lease
you need to see people that love you
I understand...I am somewhat isolated....but appreciate those I do have
it just hurts unbearably most of the time
But I am starting to get moments of calmer
moments

ALD13072 09/27/2013

I could break the lease but would be responsible for the rent until they are able to rent it out to someone else. I love where I live (Austin, TX) it is just that I have no human interaction. When I decided to stay here the separation was really fresh and I just wasn't able to make a big decision about where to move... So I stayed here :(
I had also originally stayed in the area as my STBX was to help me with our 3 pups when I travel for work, but the OW put the breaks on that and now he wants nothing to do with me or the pups. I now know that is for the best as I need to cut ties completely with him.

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