Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Well... like I said on my status... I'm great until PMS hits & guess what? We are there again...
On top of & to make it worse, my ex & I have been fighting constantly for the past week & a half over receipts & his attitude & manner of speaking to me, him giving our daughter the flu & putting me in a difficult position having to miss school to stay home with her & then today, she tells me that she asked him why he never cooked for Mommy... (he cooked supper for the OW & her) & he replied "cause Mommy never wanted me to".... I was so pissed off that he is now lying to our child!
I sent him an email telling him not to lie to her & that I refused to back him up... he replied going on & on about all the nice things he now does for the OW & twisting the knife even further... I get so frigging angry & hurt.. Why does it still fucking hurt that he treats her so much better than me?
Please, someone tell me that all of this eventually ends & that nothing he says will bother me at some point....
I'm tired of fighting, I'm tired of him making me out to be a bitch but most of all, I'm tired of me confirming that with him when that's not who I am....
On top of & to make it worse, my ex & I have been fighting constantly for the past week & a half over receipts & his attitude & manner of speaking to me, him giving our daughter the flu & putting me in a difficult position having to miss school to stay home with her & then today, she tells me that she asked him why he never cooked for Mommy... (he cooked supper for the OW & her) & he replied "cause Mommy never wanted me to".... I was so pissed off that he is now lying to our child!
I sent him an email telling him not to lie to her & that I refused to back him up... he replied going on & on about all the nice things he now does for the OW & twisting the knife even further... I get so frigging angry & hurt.. Why does it still fucking hurt that he treats her so much better than me?
Please, someone tell me that all of this eventually ends & that nothing he says will bother me at some point....
I'm tired of fighting, I'm tired of him making me out to be a bitch but most of all, I'm tired of me confirming that with him when that's not who I am....
I think you are giving in to the anger. He is pullung you chain and you are allowing it because you're already hurt and angry. It seems you argue a lot over nothing really. I mean you're arguing over him giving her the flu. You give him so much of the power and energy that you need for yourself. Instead of "bitching him out" about lying to your daughter you could have simply straightened it with her. This way she would know there are two sides to every story and she could see for herself that he is a liar. The situation won't change until you change but you have to want it to change.
Jac Jac is right--you seem to be playing right into his hands.
I don't allow my ex to speak to me with disrespect. I simply tell him I won't tolerate it and I will hang up on him if necessary. If he starts to tell me something about the ow, I simply tell him I have no interest in her whatsoever. You need to do the same.
He will do these things because he knows he can. Take your power back.
As far as telling your daughter about the cooking issue, simply say, "Daddy is mistaken" and leave it at that. It's not worth fighting over.
Hugs! I know it's difficult dealing with these idiots. Get some chocolate to help with the PMS, take a hot bath, and chill out.
Then he had the nerve to tell me that I seem to be having a hard time juggling school, work & our daughter so maybe she should come & live with him & the OW... NOT IN THIS LIFETIME!!!
The juggling was caused by him! I took that as a threat....
I just want him to evaporate.... is that possible?
learn to do that..they are aliens and dont get *discussing things*..they hate it when you take the power of the abuse away from them.
its hard hon, all hard..we get it
He made poor judgement in not allowing her to stay home when he was sick. But I don't think he gave her the flu intentionally. At some point you two have to calm things down and stop going back and forth and just be good parents.
I know I go about things all wrong & let my emotions control me... but he is very vendictive & coniving & it has now turned into a "who will win this battle" scenario....