Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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lovelost74 10/07/2012

The timeline-

Got seperated November of last year
She slept with someone else in April
STBX moved out and left me and the kids in June
I gave up on the chance of getting back together June
After 20 years, reconnected with my first love in July
Realized that I really, really enjoy being with first love October

Today, I am totally lost! Lovelost74 really fits now!

What is the next step in the timeline?

deleted_user 10/07/2012

Taking time to be alone and work on yourself from the inside out - its time to heal.
You had a 20 year marriage, and it took you less than 30 days to reconnect with someone new. Breathe. Relax. Heal. Grieve. Figure out what you want from life.

deleted_user 10/07/2012

I wonder if you need some time to heal and reflect before jumping back into anything with anybody. I struggle with that sense of being alone, but I can see why its so vital and necessary for me. I need to understand what has happened and make my peace with it. I think you maybe need to do the same. Just my opinion, of course.

deleted_user 10/08/2012

i agree with the people above me. being alone can be really hard and difficult and lonely and depressing and ect.. but sometimes we need it. i am still trying to come to terms with being alone and enjoying it but i think i can get to that point eventually and i hope you can too.

deleted_user 10/08/2012

I may have misread your post, but what makes the timing suck? You realized this month you enjoy being with your first love, so....???

deleted_user 10/08/2012

Yeah. You wanna make sure you aren't doing any transference from 20 marriage to first love. There's also going to be a lot of trigger landmines that you will have to recognize and deal with.

lovelost74 10/08/2012

I am fearful of it being too soon. The last thing I want to do is have my first love get hurt because I moved too fast. I have been emotionally alone for almost 2 years but I don't want to cause anyone the pain that I have felt. If that makes any sense!

deleted_user 10/08/2012

Yeah. Had the "too soon" conversation many times with my girlfriend. No one is carrying over any bullshit from previous relationships, so it's all good.

ChiTownBear 10/08/2012

depends on a variety of things, but I would think making sure why you "really really enjoy being with first love" is not just cus you need to feel good right now would be somewhere in that timeline.

deleted_user 10/08/2012

i would guess that the next step is that your honeymoon phase will end. then you will have to see if you two are going in similar enough directions to justify staying together.

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