set goals for myself and focused on those.
time maybe hasnt healed me 100% - but it has helped me reframe things so i can fit them into my life in a different way. i can see where i was a year ago and where i am now. there are still things that he did that are exceedingly painful - but i understand them now, reframed them and things have gone smoother for me because of that.

i still am in anger/depression mode. even over a year past the divorce. it is always an undercurrent. i am hoping that when i get into more of an exercise routine now that i am out of school that the anger/depression will lift a little. any kind of lift from it would be nice. :)

what have you done to get thru your divorce and move on?

xoxo

I absolutely agree with your post. What you do with your time really does count or else you will continue on a vicious cycle of despair/disappointment.

Start deciding what it is you want in your life, what it would take for you to be happy. And I don't mean by finding love. I mean by finding yourself, setting daily/short-term/long-term goals.

Getting out and exercising to relieve stress. Talking to friends or a therapist/counselor to help you move past whatever brick walls you have unknowingly (or knowingly) placed in front of you preventing you from contentment and happiness within yourself.

Take up new activities, join meetup groups to make new friends with similar interests. The list really goes on and on.

And you don't have to start with drastic changes. You could easily just wake up one day and say, "I'm going to do my best at work today, clean my apartment, go for a walk and cook myself a nice meal" and that still counts because you are taking care of yourself and your immediate needs :)

Best of luck to you.

I'm 6 months divorced from a 14 yr marriage, and to help myself heal, I have turned to groups like these where I have people who know and understand what I have been through. To me, talking about it is very therapeutic. I also take the time to go out with friends so I'm not always sitting at home.

I don't know how easily you want it broken down. Today, my goal was yo wash my hair. Then, to comb it. And then I had to coach myself to go to work. Baby steps, baby.

This is a really great thread. I am in a sort of rut right now and really needed to read your post and everyone's comments. Thank you.

therapy

letting other people's love in (family, friends)

working everyday

and then being busy enough with life in general that I didnt notice when the grief and anger stopped



((hugs))

I acknowledged to myself that it was highly unlikely that my ex-partner was ever going to change and that I was not going to change what I need from a relationship.

Once I realized that, the reunion fantasies subsided. I stopped imagining what could be and accepted what was.

And then the anger vanished. Because I realized that the relationship did not end because he did something "wrong" but because I did not get what I needed.

Make it about you, your needs, your dreams. You will move forward in the grieving process.

And "no contact" goes without saying....