Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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TheSelfishIdiot 05/15/2017

Hello. Don't usually do something like this but I don't know what else to do. The wife and I have been married for 10 years now and 1 week before my birthday I'm told by her that she isn't happy anymore and she wants a divorce. Of course I do the normal thing and ask if divorce is what she really feels is going to make her happy. She says yes and I say ok. If that is what will make you happy that is all I ever want for you and I grant her the divorce. I was raised catholic and divorce has always been explained to me to be a sin in Gods eyes. I agree with it to an extent. Not so much the religious part but the part that I vowed to be with her untill the day I die for better or for worse. It just seems that it has been made so easy for people to just give up on a relationship than to work on it. Granted with this relationship I hold myself to blame entirely. I did not pay enough attention to her, always corrected her when she said something wrong and made fun of her for things she did or said, didn't spend enough time with her and I didn't compliment her enough or thank her enough. She put in the work and I see why she has every right to say she isn't happy and wants a divorce. I just wish I could turn back time and realize this sooner than what I have now. I miss her and my world doesnt feel complete without her. All I can do now is move on for me and try and survive and better myself. She keeps telling me not to change who I am and that there is someone out there that will love me for the way I am. I still believe I need to change. Not for anyone else but for myself. I don't know if there will ever be someone else out there for me but I do know I will never be happy with myself. She has told me countless times that I need to find my happiness but how can I find what was infront of me this whole time and I have lost. I don't know if I will ever be happy again. The only thing I do know is that I have to keep trying to improve myself every day and maybe one day I will be satisfied with what I have become but I don't know if I will ever be truly happy again.

TheSelfishIdiot 05/15/2017

Forgot to mention that I left my family in another state and moved to her home state with her and now I am stranded her with no family but also don't want to leave because I have a great job that I love.

kaykay19 05/15/2017

I am in the same position. 10 years together and he left. I moved over 1200 miles away from my family, have no one where i am and not really wanting to move back home because i have an amazing job. It sucks. It is a constant struggle, but you can do it. One day at a time, one step at a time. Change for yourself, if you feel you must. I am working on changing my bad behaviors, not for him, but for myself, so I can be happy in my own skin! I wish you luck, and completely get where you are and relate!

sjs777 05/15/2017

there are absolutely things you can do to try and salvage your relationship and id be more than happy to share them, one person can change things, but it takes a lot of work and strength. I'm here for you anytime you wish

TheSelfishIdiot 05/16/2017

I have been trying to salvage the relationship since the beginning. She has already told me there is no second chance for us. Her and I actually had a talk tonight and she said one of the other reasons she feels we could not be closer is because I am still not really big on religion. I was raised catholic and I have really never seen eye to eye with the church since my first divorce. She has asked me to convert to Baptist and it just does not feel right to me. I know giving in and converting would be the easy way to do things but it would be meaningless to me. I may have been raised catholic but I am not practicing but I do believe in the idea of God and believe anyone should have the freedom to practice whatever religion they want to. It just doesn't feel right for me.

mirandac 05/16/2017

When they are checked out and disconnected
They are done. Its hard to face when you don't
Feel the same way yourself.

Therapy and divorce care help a lot with the
grieving and divorce process. They are Baptists
at DC :) It is a great group and very helpful.

I am too a very lapsed Catholic. I am spiritual not
Religious and i do attend church sometimes more
for the fellowship where i attended DC.

Generally both have blame in a breakup, i should
Have left 12 years before. The signs it was time to
leave were there i stayed and tried some more. It
Did not get any better only worse until toxic, HUGS

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