Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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This is Tough

Bamadad1975
Bamadad1975

So I'm seperated from my wife of 7 years now,   my second time to be headed down the road of divorce.  Im a 42 year old man and feel like life is just bottoming out.  My current wife and I probably never should have gotten married.  She admits it and says if she could go back she wouldnt do it again.  My wife has some emotional issues concerning an abusive father from years ago that she needs to deal with.  Sometimes even the smallest thing leads to a blow up and there is no middle ground.  Its either good, or I need to pack my S$%t and leave.  I know what the best thing to do is,  but Im just really not dealing well.  42, having to live in my moms home, while I pay support to my first wife on our 18 year old son.  And now support to her on our 17 year old daughter (her biological daughter) that I adopted 3 years ago.  Im just looking for tips on how to get out of this funk, how to reassure myself that life will go on,  that there could possibly be a nice, caring, sweet, loving woman out there that doesnt have anger issues.

ifinallygetit
ifinallygetit
Sorry you are going through a second divorce. Yes there are nice, caring sweet woman out there that don't have anger issues. I was wondering the same thing myself for the male sex. My 1st boyfriend after my divorce has serious anger issue stemming from childhood trauma. It is hard because I think we want to help but I discovered that I cannot fix anyone besides me. I had to get out of the situation even though I miss the "nice" guy every moment of my life. The bad guy did a lot of damage to me so I need to remember that.

I will join you, divorced, 50, living with my mother lol. Have to laugh or I will cry. I am just trying to work on myself now and not focus on getting into another relationship. I clearly was not in a the right frame of mind. Wish I had something better for you. Need a friend, feel free to PM me.
itsgottogetbetter
itsgottogetbetter
I too am now going through my second divorce. I agree with ifiinallygetit. I have to accept that I can't "fix" anyone but myself. And while it saddens me to see that so many other people are going through this, it brings me a sense of relief that it's not just me. It can feels so isolating. I'm a 40 yr old woman with three teenage boys, one being autistic. My stbx promised everything a woman wanted to hear- he would be good for my boys and show them a real marriage relationship. Sounded perfect! Never happened.
Hope you find some peace and comfort. I know it's hard!
Bamadad1975
Bamadad1975
Thank you for the words and support ladies. I'm trying everyday to remind myself that working on a new me and repairing me is the most important thing. Eventually I want to find that someone who is sweet, kind, caring, outgoing, funny, with just a little sass mixed in. :-) I hope she exists. And I hope she waits for me.
LoatandWandering
LoatandWandering
i know the pain you are feeling. i just ended a 9 yr relationship as well..and I am 43. i wonder the same thing...it it too late for me to find love again. but there are great people who have been strong supporters and have shed alittle light on your issues. yes its tough when a love is ending and especially when you have no control over it. all i know is that in y situation...what i thought i was doing which is similar to you..trying to be supportive to her and her children...wasnt good enough because they were looking for something else...people change..people grow...and if the 2 people dont change and grow together...then it does nt work.
i know you feel lost becuase i do too...its only been a month and i feel all this fear and hurt...knowing she is with another man..knowing all i did was useless... but all we do and can do is pray that things get better with time and supportive friends...
i feel for you and will hope you find the strength to move on.
Bobby5000
Bobby5000
Do note that she does not have a legal right to kick you out. A man can only be kicked out for domestic violence, though things can get nasty when she realizes you are staying for good, unless she can get you to hit or threaten her.