whats the 'issues', whats the facts, what do you want in opposition as to what she wants? who's cheated??? did you fornicate via sexting, extra post office boxes, coming home late via 'letigimately late' work related occurrences, or what have you discovered @ your relationship beyond the beginning of a trustful/loving relationship??? If you suspect someone who has defiled your initial 'connective' relationship, then question no further>>> don't let people who you thought were impt. in your life, pull the 'sheeps coat over your eyes'! Counseling is a good place to start, with a back up attorney along the way. Are both of you ''serious'' about each other or have you stumbled over someone trying to 'pull the wool over your eyes'?? Stand up for yourself & learn to grow from the 'knowledge' of it all!!

Counseling is a great idea! I got into counseling right away. I wouldn't be making it through this without my therapist. It gets better, I promise. If I were in your shoes though, I would prepare for divorce just to be on the safe side. Go to AVVO and put in your zip code. You'll get a list of attorneys in your area and reviews of them. Pick at least three to call and call them. Most attorneys will give you a free consultation, but some won't so ask first. Find out what your rights and obligations are. I find that the more information you have, the more in control you feel and the less terrified. You may not end up divorced, but at least you'll have this info and it will help you make better decisions for yourself.

Therapy would be a good start, to talk about yourself
And get some perspective from a professional. At this
Point try to stay self focused, on you getting better not
Her. Most everyone here understands your pain and hurt.
We all have a story, many times about infidelity. Divorce
Care.org is another good source to help with the grieving
And divorce process. HUGS

Aww…I’m sorry to hear this. While you haven’t shared much, as the others have suggested, I believe it’ll be best for you to seek counseling. Please take care of yourself, okay? Hugs!

Only thing I know how to do is cry and count the minutes. Each minute you endure it gets better. After a couple of years you're okay.

Or, perhaps, you're back together. But you probably do need to sort things out, and I would recommend counselling, because a wife that's walking out but suggesting you and she work on things is probably worth keeping. I suggest you get a counsellor, work through your feelings and where you are at in your life, and keep lines of communication open with the ex wife. Find out why she's leaving: by which I mean ask her, and take her answer on board. Don't reply at the time - take it away, think about it, reply later. Everything will involve huge emotions. Sometimes she'll be right, sometimes not. Modern marriage counsellors are a lot fairer than I believe they used to be; so don't be afraid to buy into that process.

If you want to keep this marriage you may need to up your game; but it sounds like your wife doesn't want to leave you so much as break some kind of cycle of dysfunction. That's a good sign.

Thank you all for the kind words. This is going to be a long struggle but words like you alls help. I'll give you a little background on our situation.

We have had a a few of life changing events in the past 5 years of our marriage. First was buying a house within the first couple of months of marriage. It was stressful on my wife emotionally and financially since she is/was the breadwinner of the family. Soon after we had twin boys which caused the stress to multiply while struggling financially. During that time we struggled to effectively communicate which led to arguments that were not handled correctly. I take responsibility for my part because I would let little things bottle up and let them all out at once which started to emotionally hurt my wife. At the same time my wife loved to be in control which caused more issues. Once the boys were born we strived to be the parents we needed to be for them which caused the wife and husband role to be non existent. This is when I recall everything slowly going downhill. We would try to talk about things but it would not be handled correctly or put off because we wanted to be great parents. About two years ago, while still struggling to find our passion for each other, my wife stated she was not happy with our situation, her job, and our location. She made a decision that she wanted us to move close to her family (her parents were retiring and moving 2000 miles away). I agreed to move away, which was away from my family and friends. I thought her moving would make her happy and we would finally be able to work on us. That is where I feel I made a mistake. I sacrificed my happiness so she could find hers. I was ok with that. When we moved, she had her family here, quickly made friends, and started to flourish with promotions at her job. I, on the other hand, struggled to find a well paying job, had no friends and my entire support system was back home. I was relying on my wife to be there for me emotionally but it did not happen. We would spend the weekends with her parents or she would be out with her friends. We went on a total of three dates over the course of a year and a half being here. I felt unappreciated which in turn made me cold towards her. When I would bring up our situation our communication would fell and lead to an argument. I began to resent her which caused more issues. We were both shut off emotionally and basically co parenting. We are both dealing with emotional hurt towards each other. Now we are in the position we are now. I lost myself throughout the relationship and do not know how to be happy. She did the same. Even through all of this, I wanted to keep working on our relationship and go to counseling for help. That was denied when she asked for the divorce. I am hoping going to a counselor for myself will help but it is going to be an uphill battle.

Sounds like a good idea if your wife will go with you for marital counseling for help and talking in a constructive way and giving healthy feedback. It would be a good idea if you could both agree to wait to talk in front of a counselor instead of having it blown into a fight. For it to work, you both need to be willing to put the marriage first, not raising the kids. This is a good place to vent and journal either privately or for feedback. Sorry for your suffering. Hopefully you will both be willing to try to work things out.

Thank you. It's hard right now. She is completely shut off and marital counseling is not an option right now. I will work on myself during the separation and hopefully we can do marital counseling when we feel better about ourselves.