To address you question about why it is probably happening to you, I would say there is probably something you are not dealing with that is causing this to reoccur. I would suggest taking a look at how you select men. I say this after two failed marriages. Both times I over looked significant weakness of the men I married. I am not saying it is your fault. They messed up, but if you don't want it reoccur again you might want to seek some therapy to help you become a better screener of men like that, so you don't feel like you are being blindsided all the time. I think the whole thing about sending you a picture of the OW and him is awful by the way and you don't need a man like that in your life.

I agree with hpnote's advice.

You are the common denominator in these marriages. What could some of the underlying issues be?

@OP...hopefully you don't plant to get married again after 3rd time not being the charm? As to why this S keeps happening to you...only you can answer that as we are not there when you embark on these relationships. One thing worth asking though, do you actually take time out to ponder what happened i.e. reflections / lessons learned before you jump into the next relationship?

Definition of insanity is something that everyone should have at the back of their mind always..."doing the same thing over and over, and expecting a different outcome".

You should never have to compromise if you have a list of lessons learned, and if you have a history of cheaters, it shouldn't be that difficult to spot such behaviour from the onset. I think most women and men pick partners based on what is between their legs as opposed to their heads. people that do this deserve what they get in the end am afraid.

Personally, I am not looking for an adult with a teenager sense of entitlement in my life, and no amount of looks will make me sell my soul to the devil. I have come to realize that finding a decent is akin to looking for a unicorn. Most are just in it for what they can get, as opposed to willing to be equals.

I don't know what age group you belong to, but the sending of the picture is childish, and the sort of things teenagers will do. Perhaps you guys had a history of sexting and he just wanted to rub in to say ...look what am banging now?????

You don't have to always be in relationships, find a decent FWB or something and preoccupy your life with other things than just men. Go volunteer, read books, run/walking groups, Yoga etc

I like this:

"I am not looking for an adult with a teenager sense of entitlement in my life, and no amount of looks will make me sell my soul to the devil."

fo sho

I was very younger and became pregnant the first marriage, he was also a drunk. My second marriage I very much loved him and it was good except for the fact I knew he was cheating way before I was able to prove it and then he got into drugs. He was also a drunk. Number three I made sure was not a drunk, but he was young! He also was wonderful for the first two years, then I guess he could not pretend to be something else anymore and the real him emerged. Constant lies and only cared about himself. I would always give them everything and I have never had a man woo me, so after my last one I made a list of what I must have and being wooed was one of them along with no alcoholics or drug users. I dated a couple of guys, but by week 2 I would see that they are not what I want. I am happy by myself and prefer that over ever being with another man that does not fit what I want and need. I have learned a lot. I also went from husband number one to the next one quickly and again with my last, so I have no plans on doing that again. One guy I dated pushed for it to be more way too fast so I ended it. You are right! You have to have time alone without men in your life and appreciate what you have in yourself.

Glad you see it from my point of view.....It's not like I know you, and am only tailoring my response to what you have written.

Rushing into a relationship,getting swept away by fluff, ignoring warning flags doesn't do anyone any good in the end. The romance will be short lived and you will be back to the start living that definition of insanity.

Nobody said it was going to be easy, but one has to be true to ones self, as opposed to letting others use you and putting their interests first.

If my posts come across as harsh, that is because I learned from my 9yrs of marriage, and am not going to ignore all that. As the saying goes, if you don't know where you are coming from, you can't be sure where you are heading.

Screening people better? - good luck with that - people change, we all do, that's life. Who we are today vs 10 years later isn't supposed to be the same - and that can be a good change or a change for the worse - so I wouldn't say people don't know how to pick a mate, that may be the case with some but frankly, getting with someone is a risk period. No way around that. As far as why shyt keeps happening to you? Because it's called life and shyt is supposed to happen - That can be with relationships, careers, illnesses, etc.

I would recommend though, that you do learn to embrace solitude - the issue w/many is that they have to be with someone to feel complete. Life is what you make of it and even with hardship and crazy twists and turns, it's fascinating and worth living to the fullest.

The difference I see between some who marry once vs others who do it more than once is that some choose to deal w/BS from just ONE person for years and years and some keep switching mates hoping that the BS won't be there or it'll be less - and in some cases they get lucky - it's a chance they are willing to take - I don't think that's good or bad - it's according to the person - I rarely run into happily married people - so just because some stay with same person till they die, like you said - it doesn't always mean that they are happy. Happiness isn't tide to a marriage or a person - we create our happy state of mind - the circumstances do not even matter.

My two cents - wishing you peace.