Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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Sarasalt 12/29/2014

I know I'm supposed to focus on one day at a time, and when I'm able to, it's really helpful. But lately I'm having a hard time kicking out thoughts about the future. Like, what will it be like when my ex and I eventually talk? What about when he starts dating someone new? How will *I* possibly get to the point of wanting to date someone new? And how will I trust them and be vulnerable again? Will I ever truly get over my ex? There are so many memories, and I can't imagine they could ever stop being painful.

It's unhelpful to think of all of these things, I know. I can't predict the future, and I have to trust that it will work itself out. But obsessive thought patterns have been a part of my anxiety package for many years, and putting the thoughts away feels impossible! The questions make me so anxious, because all of it is too much to consider right now. It makes me panic. I wish I could just trust that things will work out.

And that's my rant for the night.

donewiththefight7 12/30/2014

I have similar questions for myself. Sometimes, the questions just drive me crazy! I, too, have anxiety so I overanalyze and overthink the answers to the questions that I come up with. Trust is probably my biggest issue. I wonder if I will ever fully trust another man. I do pray - A LOT! Focusing on my spiritual side has helped.

fruitpi 12/30/2014

I woke up from a dream the other day. Since the breakup it feels like the only thing I dream of is my ex or loneliness or things falling apart. But that day, I don't remember anything else about the dream but I remember sitting next to a man and he pulled me close and just held me.

I woke up feeling good for the first time in weeks and looking forward to the day when I'd have that again. It's been helping me to think of that. Something about being in a relationship to look forward to, disembodied from my ex and not tied to anyone in particular. Just the feeling of being held in a loving embrace.

Maybe imagining your future as positive feelings to look forward to (don't think about the specifics of another man) will help counteract fears of painful feelings you never want to feel again. Try to train your obsessive thoughts towards something good.

I struggle with it to but that warm feeling has given me hope.

cab720 12/30/2014

I understand that the anxiety is not helping you, but there may be a positive. I have been going along for a year and a half now without really thinking about how I will feel when she starts dating. Well, tonight I found out she is and I feel so odd. I am not sure where I am at. Maybe your looking ahead is not good, but maybe it will better prepare you for when the day comes. I wish you the best, life can be so hard at times. I thought I wanted to find another relationship to share my life with someone. Now I think if I can just be a father and be content with life that is enough. Who knows, I think I may be really screwed up from this relationship. I tried to make it work for a long time and now I wonder what the hello was I trying so damn hard for. Look where we ended up. Sorry I am feeling all over the place. Sounds like you are a bit too. I'll be hoping the best for you.

PoojaIMissYou 12/30/2014

I really can connect to what you are thinking. I absolutely dread the day I see her again.In fact, I'll shake heaven and earth to make sure I'm never in the same city as her.

It's been 6 months and I cannot look at any other girl in a, you know, want to date way.

I don't think you should try to see him again, because that just might be too painful. Some might call this running away, but at least I don't have it in me to face it. So ur choice.

Then, about dating again. I really think you should just let it play out. I have friends who have had more than 5 breakups and its really a routine for them. It gradually happens. I really hope you find someone very good and caring in time. for now, just enjoy the holidays. :) Good Luck.

utterpain 12/30/2014

Time will speed by. And things might play out completely differently than you think. Rather than worrying about dating another person, focus on building a happy future for yourself, one that you can be secure in without a man.

And generally nothing good comes from speaking to exes.

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