I send cards and gifts to my exhusband and his mother as well. I do this for my son, who is now 12, and feel it is the right thing to do for my child. The relationships are NOT amicable and are strained, but I digress. My son like to do this, and as long as he wishes to , I'm happy to support him.

Do what you feel comfortable with and with pure intentions. Send because you want to send, out of your heart, with no expectation of a call, card in return, reaction, etc.

Hugs!

In June, you posted here about wanting him to leave you alone and included in that:

"Knowing him, this pattern is the same like he did in the past with his jobs and relationships. He cannot give up completely. I want a clean break and that means that I want to be left alone. I have finished my part in the divorce process and just waiting for the court hearing. I am doing much better now except for my worry that he will not leave me alone.
Posted on 06/11/13, 03:47 pm"

Considering that you said the above just months ago AND that he tried to shaft you so bad with the divorce, I strongly suggest you leave him alone and not contact him with cards, letters, e-mails or texts of any type. Your attorney just finished digging you out of a pretty bad situation with him so leave well enough alone.

Reply 2 this is said with many hugs.....plz get a life. I can't believe how you continue to dreg up posters past statements....not only on this group but others. It is not helpful or kind.

To the OP...continued no contact is the best course. I don't need to drag you thru the mud to suggest this.

To poster #3- that previous post is EXTREMELY relevant. Sometimes time allows us to think "maybe it wasn't so bad". Seems it was and perhaps the original poster needs to be reminded of that to prevent future problems in their life.

I did not find the comment provided rude or inappropriate, not dragged through the mud in any way, shape or form,

Mariel - given the history I would suggest you not send a card or acknowledge as it can't have a positive result. Keep moving forward!

To poster 3, I do look back through their posts because I usually REMEMBER something they said. But milliejay and I already discussed that--you apparently missed that.

Oh dear God NO I would never send x a card!!!
If you haven't had contact in 9 months then don't stir up things again. You are better off to just get through the holidays without the card.

Although your heart is in the right place, I think you would be sending a mixed message to him and he may begin trying to contact you again.

I say leave it alone.

Sending hugs!

I also feel that bringing up past statements can be extremely helpful. It takes a friend to tell us "Snap out of it! Remember when X,Y, and Z happened and how you felt about it then?" and stop us from forming an unhealthy cycle.
Looptrap, if you have an issue with someones support methods, there is an ignore option that you are free to utilize. That is also said with "many hugs".

Mariel, I think sending cards and such is nice when there are mututal children involved, but its not a reason to break no-contact unless youre ready and capable of accepting any responsibility that comes as a result of bringing the flood walls down.
AKA - not worth it.

I also agree that it can be extremely helpful to bring up past posts. I usually can't remember what everyone says and I feel it is beneficial to them if we know what has gone on before. I assume they want our honest opinion based on their overall circumstances. I know some do not, but it sounds if mariel would like an honest answer.

Mariel, I would also say to let sleeping dogs lie.

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